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The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping.

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. KAlN
Owing to the rapid increase in the worldwide population, the traffic system of each country has to face up to many problems and pressures. Therefore, many governments have come up with the idea of digitalising various public and private services. Even though it is undeniable that digitalisation can help decrease the need of people for travelling, I do not agree that this is the sole remedy for this issue. It cannot be denied that moving our things online can greatly reduce our need to travel. Take shopping as an example: in Vietnam, websites such as Shopee or Tiki have made it possible for people to browse products, compare prices and most importantly, pay electronically via the Internet. Another area, which is worth mentioning, is education: in Asian countries, it is a common practice that students go to extra class after school, which contributes to congestion especially in large cities, as most of the travelling takes place during rush hours. Moreover, as far as work is concerned, working from home has saved millions of people from going to and fro to their workplaces. In the fight against traffic congestion, it would not be complete without mentioning the role of public transportation. The convenience of public transportation would discourage people from using their private cars, therefore may reduce the amount of heavy traffic in large cities. For example, in France, a lot of people, especially Parisians, go to work by metro - an underground train system; or in Singapore, there are buses which are one of the most popular forms of transportation there. Besides, governments can also invest in the development of eco-friendly vehicles. For instance, in the Netherlands, there is a bike-sharing scheme where people can hire bicycles to travel to their offices or schools, and there are also separate lanes for bikers as well. Last but not least, there are some tasks that cannot be performed only at home. Taking doctors as an example: they need to go to the hospital to take care of the patients, and they also have to meet their colleagues as well. In the same way, when we shop online, delivery shippers have to work outside and continue their jobs to get our orders done. Many specific occupations require going to laboratories and doing research. Furthermore, the quality of online studying cannot be compared with that of classroom studying. As a matter of fact, it is necessary that people should come up with a more possible solution, rather than digitalising everything. In conclusion, it is irrefutable that an online economy can make a great contribution to lessening the amount of personal transportation, yet there are several occupations that cannot be done only from home, and various possible solutions are recommended: the government can either encourage the use of public transportation or invest more in the production of eco-friendly vehicles.
Owing to the rapid increase in the worldwide population, the traffic system of each country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems and pressures.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'digitalising' is British English.
digitalising
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and private services.
Even though
it is undeniable that
Possible spelling mistake. 'digitalisation' is British English.
digitalisation
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
decrease the need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for travelling, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this is the sole remedy for this issue.

It cannot
be denied
that moving our things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our need to travel. Take shopping as an example: in Vietnam, websites such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shopee
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiki
have made it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to browse products, compare prices and most
importantly
, pay
electronically
via the Internet. Another area, which is worth mentioning, is education: in Asian countries, it is a common practice that students go to extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
after school, which contributes to congestion
especially
in large cities, as most of the travelling takes place during rush hours.
Moreover
, as far as work
is concerned
, working from home has saved millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from going to and fro to their workplaces.

In the fight against traffic congestion, it would not be complete without mentioning the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. The convenience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
would discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from using their private cars,
therefore
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of heavy traffic in large cities.
For example
, in France,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
Parisians, go to work by metro
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
an underground train system; or in Singapore, there are buses which are one of the most popular forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
there.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can
also
invest in the development of eco-friendly vehicles.
For instance
, in the Netherlands, there is a bike-sharing scheme where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can hire bicycles to travel to their offices or schools, and there are
also
separate lanes for bikers
as well
.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tasks that cannot
be performed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at home. Taking doctors as an example: they need to go to the hospital to take care of the patients, and they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their colleagues
as well
.
In the same way
, when we shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, delivery shippers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work outside and continue their jobs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
our orders done.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
specific occupations require going to laboratories and doing research.
Furthermore
, the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
studying cannot
be compared
with that of classroom studying. As a matter of fact, it is necessary that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with a more possible solution,
rather
than
Possible spelling mistake. 'digitalising' is British English.
digitalising
everything.

In conclusion
, it is irrefutable that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
economy can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great contribution to lessening the amount of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
,
yet
there are several occupations that cannot
be done
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from home, and various possible solutions
are recommended
: the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can either encourage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
or invest more in the production of eco-friendly vehicles.
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IELTS essay The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
474 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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