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Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages 1MbA
Studying foreign language like English in primary institution at the early age is more effective for the kids instead of learning in higher school. This essay will analyze the importance of knowing various language in their school. Learning language at the age of 4-5 definitely outweigh the drawbacks. The most important factors of learning different kinds of language in childhood is it helps to develop communication skills and are able to make friends easily from different socio-background from differ parts of the word. Furthermore, they seems to be more confidence what ever they do and are able to speak in public without having and fear. In addition, acquiring different language helps them to broaden their horizon, which helps them to gain enormous amount of information. Moreover, they tend to focus more on study and have knowledge of fields like art, culture, literature. For instance, those who are multilingual are more likely to do better on math and science than who are bilingual. Secondly, learning various language in childhood makes them more expressive and extrovert. Also they are quick thinker, quick learner and make decision more quickly, and are more confidence. Multilingual people can cope in the face of adversity, which help them to be successful in each and every field. For instance, according to to the recent study individual who know more than one language are socially intelligence. In conclusion, early learners of variety of language enables to develop personal and professional skill and are more successful in life.
Studying foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
like English in primary institution at the early age is more effective for the kids
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in higher school. This essay will analyze the importance of knowing various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in their school.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at the age of 4-5 definitely outweigh the drawbacks.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in childhood is it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to develop communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends
easily
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-background
from differ parts of the word.
Furthermore
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "seem"
seems
to be more confidence what ever they do and are able to speak in public without having and fear.
In addition
, acquiring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to broaden their horizon, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to gain enormous amount of information.
Moreover
, they tend to focus more on study and have knowledge of fields like art, culture, literature.
For instance
, those who are multilingual are more likely to do better on math and science than who are bilingual.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in childhood
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more expressive and extrovert.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
they
Please check whether an article is missing: "are a quick" or "are an quick"
are quick
thinker, quick learner and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decision more
quickly
, and are more confidence. Multilingual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can cope in the face of adversity, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to be successful in each and every field.
For instance
, according
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
the recent study individual who know more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are
socially
intelligence.

In conclusion
, early learners of variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
enables to develop personal and professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and are more successful in life.
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IELTS essay Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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