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The only way to prevent overcrowding in cities is to prevent migration from rural areas. Do you agree or disagree?

The only way to prevent overcrowding in cities is to prevent migration from rural areas. m2KjA
Population in the urban areas is increasing day by day due to the availability of better opportunities in terms of education, health and job. Some people believe that the migration of people from rural areas to urban areas needed to be controlled to prevent overpopulation in cities. However, I disagree with this viewpoint as it is not an appropriate way to control the increasing populace. To initiate with, to prevent overcrowding all the citizens should be taught about family planning. It is a good measure that teaches people about the benefits of having a small family rather than a large one. For instance, most of the literate women have only one or two children whereas illiterate ladies have many children. In addition to this, expanding the areas of cities where people live can also serve as an appropriate way to reduce the congestion in metropolitan cities. Thus, education and more area can be used as a weapon to control overcrowding in the cities. Besides, the availability of proper infrastructural planning like building industries outside the cities in the suburbs or in the countryside. It fulfills the dual purpose of reducing overcrowding as most of the people shift in the nearby area to avail industrial opportunities and also it balances the growth rate between urban and rural areas. For instance, in China, the government had supported industries in the suburbs and the results of this approach were positive as it limits the growth rate of population in cities by 43%. Furthermore, providing ample opportunities for jobs and better education and health facilities in the rural areas also limit the masses traveling to cities for accessing these facilities. To conclude, stopping migration is not a viable option to reduce population density. Educating people and infrastructural development in outskirts can be the suitable alternatives to tackle this problem.
Population in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is increasing day by day due to the availability of better opportunities in terms of education, health and job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
needed to
be controlled
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
overpopulation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
However
, I disagree with this viewpoint as it is not an appropriate way to control the increasing populace.

To initiate with, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
overcrowding all the citizens should
be taught
about family planning. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
measure that teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the benefits of having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
family
rather
than a large one.
For instance
, most of the literate women have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one or two children whereas illiterate ladies have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children.
In addition
to this, expanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
can
also
serve as an appropriate way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the congestion in metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Thus
, education and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a weapon to control overcrowding in the cities.

Besides
, the availability of proper infrastructural planning like building industries outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in the suburbs or in the countryside. It fulfills the dual purpose of reducing overcrowding as most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shift in the nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to avail industrial opportunities and
also
it balances the growth rate between urban and rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
For instance
, in China, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had supported industries in the suburbs and the results of this approach were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as it limits the growth rate of population in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
by 43%.
Furthermore
, providing ample opportunities for jobs and better education and health facilities in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
also
limit the masses traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for accessing these facilities.

To conclude
, stopping migration is not a viable option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
population density. Educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and infrastructural development in outskirts can be the suitable alternatives to tackle this problem.
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IELTS essay The only way to prevent overcrowding in cities is to prevent migration from rural areas.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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