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The only way to prevent overcrowding in cities is to prevent migration from rural areas. Give your opinion and views.

The only way to prevent overcrowding in cities is to prevent migration from rural areas. Give your opinion and views. N876b
Rapid Industrialisation and increasing population boomed urbanization in many parts of the world. Increasing economic opportunities and high standards of living attracts many people towards cities. This continuous migration from rural areas has led to the problem of overcrowding in many urban centres. There has been an increase in slum areas over the pheripheries of mega cities during recent years. Thus, the only way to prevent overcrowding in cities is to prevent migration from rural areas. I totally agree with the statement and reasons will be discussed in the following paragraphs. First of all since we have limited land resources and we can't expand them. With proliferating urbanization, cities are getting filled to their maximum capacity and there is hardly any space left. This situation has given rise to insanitary conditions in many parts of the world leading to an increase in number of slum areas around the city. This is an alarming sign and efforts should be made to prevent this rapid migration from rural areas. Governments and people around the globe have to work collectively to achieve desired results. The best way to prevent people from moving to urban areas is increase the number of work opportunities in villages and rural areas. Unemployment has been found as the major cause for migration to city centres by the research conducted by students of the Delhi University. Apart from increasing economic opportunities such as opening new factories in rural areas, efforts should also be made to strengthen transportation system. With well-maintained roads, people will prefer to stay in villages as they will have good road network to travel to work in cities. Healthcare and educational facilities at rural areas should also be improved so that they can match the level of urban centres. Government should to provide facilities in every part of the country so that we see a downward trend in case of urbanization. To conclude, large migration of people from small towns and villages has given rise to problem of overcrowding in cities. The only way to prevent this overcrowding is to prevent migration of people from rural areas. This can only be done if number of opportunities are increased in rural areas as well. Government should stress over providing better transportation, healthcare and educational facilities in rural areas.
Rapid
Possible spelling mistake. 'Industrialisation' is British English.
Industrialisation
and increasing population boomed urbanization in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world. Increasing economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and high standards of living attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
has led to the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overcrowding
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
urban
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. There has been an increase in slum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
over the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pheripheries
of mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
during recent years.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overcrowding
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and reasons will
be discussed
in the following paragraphs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
since we have limited land
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
resources and
we can't expand them. With proliferating urbanization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are getting filled to their maximum capacity and there is hardly any space
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
. This situation has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to insanitary conditions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world leading to an increase in number of slum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
around the city. This is an alarming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
and efforts should
be made
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
this rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
collectively
to achieve desired results. The best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from moving to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is increase the number of work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in villages and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Unemployment has
been found
as the major cause for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
to city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
by the research conducted by students of the Delhi University.

Apart from increasing economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
such as opening new factories in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, efforts should
also
be made
to strengthen transportation system. With well-maintained roads,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will prefer to stay in villages as they will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
road network to travel to work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Healthcare and educational facilities at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
should
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can match the level of urban
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should to provide facilities in every part of the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a downward trend in case of urbanization.

To conclude
, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns and villages has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overcrowding
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overcrowding
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be done
if number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
are increased
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
as well
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
over providing better transportation, healthcare and educational facilities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
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IELTS essay The only way to prevent overcrowding in cities is to prevent migration from rural areas. Give your opinion and views.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
381 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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