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The only reason to work hard is to earn money to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The only reason to work hard is to earn money lWrmo
The importance of money which is always debatable has now become more controversial with a number of folks claiming that the reason behind extreme work is to gain a handsome money. The substential influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, I totally agree with this notion. This essay will further elaborate my views in a comprehensive way and thus lead to logical conclusion.
The importance of money which is always debatable has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become more controversial with a number of folks claiming that the reason behind extreme work is to gain
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "handsome money".
a handsome money
. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
substential
influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion. This essay will
further
elaborate my views
Consider replacing "in a comprehensive way" with the adverb for "comprehensive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a comprehensive way
and
thus
lead to logical conclusion.

IELTS essay The only reason to work hard is to earn money

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
74 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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