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The only reason people work hard is to earn more money. There are no other reasons to do it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, People are running behind money. They want just money, Money and money in life. Many of the people work so hard for just few cash and they forget about their family, Friends and their life. There other people who work for their passion instead of money. This kind of people does not work for money they work because they like to do that work. Because, They have passion in it. And i disagree with the statement that people only work hard for money and i will explain my this point in the following paragraphs. There different types of people in this world. Many of them like to work because of high salary. Many of them like to work to impress their seniors. And there is also a category of people who like to work for their passion. This kind of people does not think about money or what they need to do in the job. They done this job because they like to do it. This individuals are different from money magnets people. There are also many people who work only for money or because their salary is high. These only need money in their life. And they think that if they had money they have everything. But this is wrong and i agree with that. People who work only for money they do nothing in their life. Instead of, just running behind money. In conclusion, I disagree with the statement that people work hard only for money because there are several people who not do work for money.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are running behind
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money
. They want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
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money
,
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Money
and
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money
in
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life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
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work
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so
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hard
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
few
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cash and
they forget about their family, Friends and their
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life
.
It seems that a verb is missing.
There
other
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for their passion
instead
of
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money
. This kind of
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people
does not
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work
for
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money
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they like to do that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, They have passion in it. And
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
disagree with the statement that
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people
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only
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work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
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money
and
Did you mean “I”?
i
will
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explain
my this point in the following paragraphs.

There
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
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people
in this world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them like to
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work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high salary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them like to
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work
to impress their seniors. And there is
also
a category of
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
like to
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work
for their passion. This kind of
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people
does not
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think
about
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money
or what they need to do in the job.
You used a past participle without using any required verb (‘be’ or ‘have’).
They done
this job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they like to do it.
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘individuals’. Did you mean “these”?
This
individuals are
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different
from
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money
magnets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

There are
also
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many
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people
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who
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work
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only
for
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money
or
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because
their salary is high. These
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only
need
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money
in their
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life
. And they
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think
that if they had
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money
they have everything.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this is
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wrong
and
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they do nothing in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Instead
of,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
running behind money.

In conclusion
, I disagree with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
not do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay The only reason people work hard is to earn more money. There are no other reasons to do it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The only reason people work hard is to earn more money. There are no other reasons to do it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?