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Nowadays children are consuming too many sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons and the solutions for this situation?

Adolescents eat too much sugary drinks nowadays. There are plenty of the reasons behind this situation. This essay examines the reasons for why children eat sugary drinks more and more and also suggests ways to tackle this situation. One of the major reasons behind why children eat more sugary drinks was their easy availability. Nowadays, sugar drinks available in all the shops with very low cost. For example in India you find this drinks in almost every mall, small shops even in some hotels aslo. The solution for that is some restrictions taken by government. Government should increase the tax on sugar based. As well as, restrict the sales. like Who want to sell sugar based drinks they need a license for that. Another major reason behind sugar drinks consumption more and more by children, was celebrities influence. Many of the celebrities, singers, sportsman advertise sugary drinks. For instance, celebrity with numerous followers can influence so much adolescents to buy these products. solution for that is Schools and parents need to explain side effects of sugary drinks. Sugary drinks is slow poition that affect our health in long term. For example, Schools need to run campaing for the side effects of sugary drinks explaing major health issues like diabetes. In conclusion, All people try to make this drinks less affordable and popular.
Adolescents eat too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
nowadays. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this situation. This essay examines the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for why children eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
more and more and
also
suggests ways to tackle this situation.

One of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind why children eat more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
was their easy availability. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
available in all the shops with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low cost.
For example
in India you find this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
in almost every mall,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shops even in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hotels
Possible spelling mistake found.
aslo
. The solution for
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions taken by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should increase the tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
based.
As well
as, restrict the sales.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
like
In a formal text, use “Whom”, not ‘who’.
Who
want to sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
they need a license for that.

Another major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
consumption more and more by children, was celebrities influence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the celebrities, singers, sportsman advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
.
For instance
, celebrity with numerous followers can influence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use “many” with countable plural nouns like ‘adolescents’.
much
adolescents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these products.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
solution
for
that is
Schools and parents need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
side effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
It seems that the correct verb form here is “are”.
is
slow
Possible spelling mistake found.
poition
that affect our health in long term.
For example
, Schools need to run
Possible spelling mistake found.
campaing
for the side effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
Possible spelling mistake found.
explaing
major health issues like diabetes.

In conclusion
, All
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
less affordable and popular.
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IELTS essay Nowadays children are consuming too many sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons and the solutions for this situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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