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In my view, today lifestyles are unhealthier rather than 100 years ago for two specific reasons.

In my view, today lifestyles are unhealthier rather than 100 years ago for two specific reasons. First, lots of works are sedentary. For instance, people in the past worked in farms or factories, and they had manual work, but now people work while they are sitting on a chair. Second, our food is unhealthier. For example, In the former century, all foods were organic, but now we have lots of genetically modified and processed food. They are poisonous to our bodies. And that's why I believe people in the past had a healthier lifestyle rather than us.
In my view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
lifestyles are unhealthier
rather
than 100 years ago for two specific reasons.
First
, lots of works are sedentary.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the past worked in farms or factories, and they had manual work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work while they are sitting on a chair. Second, our food is unhealthier.
For example
, In the former century, all foods were organic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we have lots of
genetically
modified and processed food. They are poisonous to our bodies. And that's why I believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the past had a healthier lifestyle
rather
than us.
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IELTS essay In my view, today lifestyles are unhealthier rather than 100 years ago for two specific reasons.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
97 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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