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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to to overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight in people in society? How can this problem be solved

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to to overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight in people in society? How can this problem be solved Gg8w
There is an increasing number of people who are struggling with obesity and this putting them at risk of serious life threatening diseases. There is a number of reasons for the growth of obese people in the society, just to name a few, lack of exercise, diets high in carbohydrates, genetics and medical conditions. Firstly, lack of exercise is probably the largest reason for overweight in the society. Exercise has been proven to help lose weight and keep a person healthy. People struggling with overweight usually do not exercise enough to lose the weight. Exercising at least three times a week and as little as 30 minutes each time helps to reduce weight. Secondly, eating a high carbohydrate or high calorie diet may be a reason for increasing obesity in people. Carbohydrates eaten are stored in the body as fat and if eaten in excess will cause obesity. A low carbohydrate diet decreases chances of obesity for example eating good protein like white meat and vegetables is very healthy. This inturn will keep people safe from getting diseases easily contracted by overweight people. Thirdly some medical conditions cause obesity and make it difficult to lose the weight for instance POCS is a disease most women struggle with and 80%of women with this condition have unexplained weight gain, predisposing them to other conditions like Diabetes Mellitus and hypertension. Women with this condition need to be given the right medications and of course with some exercise and good diet may lose the Lastly, genetics may also be a cause of weight gain. If there is a history of obesity in the family most people become obese. This however is difficult to resolve but it has been seen that change of lifestyle can still reduce weight in this case. In conclusion, overweight people can still lose weight by exercise, change of diet, and getting medical attention when needed despite the increase in obesity in the society.
There is an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are struggling with obesity and this putting them at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of serious life threatening diseases. There is a number of reasons for the growth of obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to name a few, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, diets high in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrates
, genetics and medical conditions.

Firstly
, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is
probably
the largest reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
in the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Exercise
has
been proven
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a person healthy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
struggling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
usually
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
. Exercising at least three times a week and as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
as 30 minutes each time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
.
Secondly
, eating a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
or high calorie diet may be a reason for increasing obesity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Carbohydrates
eaten
are stored
in the body as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and if eaten in excess will cause obesity. A low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
diet decreases chances of obesity
for example
eating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
protein like white meat and vegetables is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
healthy. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
inturn
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
safe from getting diseases
easily
contracted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Thirdly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medical conditions cause obesity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
for instance
Possible spelling mistake found.
POCS
is a disease most women struggle with and 80%of women with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
have unexplained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
gain, predisposing them to other conditions like Diabetes Mellitus and hypertension. Women with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the right medications and
of course
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
diet may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


Lastly
, genetics may
also
be a cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
gain.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
there is a history of obesity in the family most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become obese. This
however
is difficult to resolve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of lifestyle can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
in this case
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of diet, and getting medical attention when needed despite the increase in obesity in the society.
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IELTS essay The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to to overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight in people in society? How can this problem be solved

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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