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In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion? mYrL
The issue of whether children should be engaged in some paid work has sparked a heated debate. While a number of argue that having a number of employment experience is conclusive to a child's learning and development. I contend that it would bring harm to the child's health and learning. First, In a number of democratic countries, It is illegal who work under the age of 18. However, employers have a fine with punishment like license cancel for this crime. It is scientifically proven at tiny age child minds required attention, care love, to understand their meaning. Till 18 young people learn skills theoretically o practically under the guidance. In Contrast, young minds are not capable to define themselves from stress, fraud, or any cheating. According to the reports of times of India, Children who work underage, are exploited by employers and paid less money as compare to others. Moreover, they might be misused for any illegal work. Furthermore, it is believed that child does not have ambition and vision to understand the meaning of their lives. In such cases, the guardian helps them to learn a number of set of skills consequently that they can learn and survive in the real world and understand incorrect and right. In conclusion, I opine that the government should implement the restriction on child labor. order to save them from illegal work, and fraudulent, exploitation. they don't understand the difference in extremely tiny age.
The issue of whether children should
be engaged
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has sparked a heated debate. While a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of argue that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of employment experience is conclusive to a child's learning and development. I contend that it would bring harm to the child's health and learning.

First
, In a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of democratic countries, It is illegal who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under the age of 18.
However
, employers have a fine with punishment like license cancel for this crime. It is
scientifically
proven at tiny age child minds required attention, care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
their meaning. Till 18 young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
theoretically
o
practically
under the guidance.
In Contrast
, young minds are not capable to define themselves from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, fraud, or any cheating. According to the reports of times of India, Children who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
underage,
are exploited
by employers and paid less money as compare to others.
Moreover
, they might
be misused
for any illegal work.

Furthermore
, it
is believed
that child does not have ambition and vision to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the meaning of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In such cases, the guardian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
consequently
that they can learn and survive in the real world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
incorrect and right.

In conclusion
, I opine that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should implement the restriction on child labor.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
order
to save them from illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and fraudulent, exploitation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the difference in
extremely
tiny age.
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IELTS essay In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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