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THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO ARE AT RISK OF SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEMS DUE TO BEING OVERWEIGHT IS INCREASING. WHAT IS THE REASON FOR THE GROWTH IN OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE IN SOCIETY? HOW CAN THIS PROBLEM BE SOLVED?

The incidence of serious health issues owing to obesity is increasing in society. There are various reasons for the rise in the overweight population which can be addressed and solved to decrease this incidence. There are many reasons for the increasing obesity, and one of the major cause is, reduction in physical activity. Most of the office jobs offer a sedentary environment with long working hours and people have less time for physical exercise and sports, which leads them to gain weight. Secondly, the food choices have also changed over the years and now most of the people prefer takeaways and fast food over home-cooked or healthy food items, which causes unhealthy weight gain and thus increases the risk of health problems among them. However, this problem can be solved by taking a few health measures. Firstly, spreading awareness regarding the significance of physical activity and the provision of fitness facilities can significantly reduce the number of the overweight population. Secondly, educating people about healthy food choices and the availability of healthy and nutritious meals in the cafeterias and supermarkets can help us lower the risk of obesity and obesity-related diseases. In conclusion, sedentary lifestyle and unhealthy food choices are two of the many reasons which are causing a rise in the overweight population and thus an increase in the health problems, but, this incidence can be decreased by doing some lifestyle modifications.
The incidence of serious
health
issues owing to obesity is increasing in society. There are various reasons for the rise in the overweight population which can
be addressed
and solved to decrease this incidence.

There are
many
reasons for the increasing obesity, and one of the major cause is, reduction in physical activity. Most of the office jobs offer a sedentary environment with long working hours and
people
have less time for physical exercise and sports, which leads them to gain weight.
Secondly
, the
food
choices have
also
changed
over the years and
now
most of the
people
prefer takeaways and
fast
food
over home-cooked or healthy
food
items, which causes unhealthy weight gain and
thus
increases the
risk
of
health
problems among them.

However
, this problem can
be solved
by taking a few
health
measures.
Firstly
, spreading awareness regarding the significance of physical activity and the provision of fitness facilities can
significantly
reduce
the number of the overweight population.
Secondly
, educating
people
about healthy
food
choices and the availability of healthy and nutritious meals in the cafeterias and supermarkets can
help
us lower the
risk
of obesity and obesity-related diseases.

In conclusion
, sedentary lifestyle and unhealthy
food
choices are two of the
many
reasons which are causing a rise in the overweight population and
thus
an increase in the
health
problems,
but
, this incidence can
be decreased
by doing
some
lifestyle modifications.
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IELTS essay THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO ARE AT RISK OF SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEMS DUE TO BEING OVERWEIGHT IS INCREASING. WHAT IS THE REASON FOR THE GROWTH IN OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE IN SOCIETY? HOW CAN THIS PROBLEM BE SOLVED?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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