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Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academics, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce the pressure.

As a famous saying goes, children are so flexible like water that can take shape of any vessel in which it is been poured. One of the most conspicuous trends in today's world is that children are exposed to plenty of pressures resulted from academics, social and commercial perspectives. There is a widespread worry that, this will only lead to myriads of problems amongst children of various age groups. In my opinion, this apprehension is unwarranted and merits serious considerations. There are numerous arguments in my stance. The most preponderant one is academics pressure that is an outcome of a global competition resulted because the world is now a global village. Not only this, but parents want their children to be a jack-of-all-trades; hence, they enroll their children in various activities that restricts children’s inner talent to grow. As a well-known example, a study conducted by a group of prominent scientists demonstrates the most of the children are lacking in doing household chores and speaking their heart with relatives. Other pivotal aspects of my arguments is pressure of social and commercial aspects as a byproduct of peer pressure and fear of being neglected. Children often argue over demanding costly phones, laptops and other gadgets because they want to walk side by side with the other children who are fortunate of having them. Besides, not having such luxuries add pressure to the children’s life. As a salient example of such attribution is steep rise in sales of such gadgets during the New Year intakes. In conclusion, the effect of above pressures on children’s behavior is prominent; however, parents should take care of their children, expect realistic goals and avoid unnecessary competition to promote healthy being of their children.
As a
famous
saying goes,
children
are
so
flexible like water that can take shape of any vessel in which it
is been
poured. One of the most conspicuous trends in
today
's world is that
children
are exposed
to
plenty
of
pressures
resulted from academics, social and commercial perspectives. There is a widespread worry that, this will
only
lead to myriads of problems amongst
children
of various age groups. In my opinion, this apprehension
is unwarranted
and merits serious considerations.

There are numerous arguments in my stance. The most preponderant one is academics
pressure
that is
an outcome of a global competition resulted
because
the world is
now
a global village. Not
only
this,
but
parents want their
children
to be a jack-of-all-trades;
hence
, they enroll their
children
in various activities that restricts
children’s
inner talent to grow. As a well-known example, a study conducted by a group of prominent scientists demonstrates the most of the
children
are lacking in doing household chores and speaking their heart with relatives.

Other pivotal aspects of my arguments is
pressure
of social and commercial aspects as a byproduct of peer
pressure
and fear of
being neglected
.
Children
often
argue over demanding costly phones, laptops and other gadgets
because
they want to walk side by side with the other
children
who are fortunate of having them.
Besides
, not having such luxuries
add
pressure
to the
children’s
life.
As
a salient example of such attribution is steep rise in sales of such gadgets during the New Year intakes.

In conclusion
, the effect of above
pressures
on
children’s
behavior is prominent;
however
, parents should take care of their
children
,
expect
realistic goals and avoid unnecessary competition to promote healthy being of their
children
.
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IELTS essay Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academics, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce the pressure.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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