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The number of older people is increasing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

The number of older people is increasing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? JBVw
It is remarkable that our modern society is turning to an aging population. Although increasing life expectancy of elderlies is beneficial for society due to the fact that one can profit from their experience and love, however some drawbacks of this trend cannot be denied. Firstly, raising the number of silver age categories will be of huge benefit for the nuclear family. This will be illustrated by the increasing number of young children that are raised by their grandparents, while their parents are working to provide them a decent life. Secondly, there is no age for productivity. Many elderly people still work in different fields like consultancy, teaching any many other fields, where people can gain from their expertise accumulated over years. Thus, our old category of the society is greatly advantageous. On the other hand, many problems appear to threaten the society. To start, above sixty people tend to suffer from a plethora of chronic diseases that need prolonged medical interventions and treatments. This can be illustrated by the weight of such a category on the economy of the developed countries, which forces them to attract young people from developing nations. Moreover, those well experienced aged people compete in the workplace creating barriers to the fresh graduating students grab a job. Having limited opportunities, the younger generation will fail to fill future gaps in the work field. Hence, serious obstacles are created by the fact of increasing the aging category in the economic sector of the society. To conclude, it is extremely beneficial for the society preserving elderly life since they provide family with love and society with their knowledge. However, some economic drawbacks appear by their competition on the market place, as well as their health demands.
It is remarkable that our modern
society
is turning to an aging population. Although increasing life expectancy of
elderlies
is beneficial for
society
due to the fact that one can profit from their experience and
love
,
however
some
drawbacks of this trend cannot
be denied
.

Firstly
, raising the number of silver age
categories
will be of huge benefit for the nuclear family. This will
be illustrated
by the increasing number of young children that
are raised
by their grandparents, while their parents are working to provide them a decent life.
Secondly
, there is no age for productivity.
Many
elderly
people
still
work in
different
fields like consultancy, teaching any
many
other fields, where
people
can gain from their expertise accumulated over years.
Thus
, our
old
category
of the
society
is
greatly
advantageous.

On the other hand
,
many
problems appear to threaten the
society
. To
start
, above sixty
people
tend to suffer from a plethora of chronic diseases that need prolonged medical interventions and treatments. This can
be illustrated
by the weight of such a
category
on the economy of the
developed countries
, which forces them to attract young
people
from developing nations.
Moreover
, those well experienced aged
people
compete in the workplace creating barriers to the fresh graduating students grab a job. Having limited opportunities, the younger generation will fail to fill future gaps in the work field.
Hence
, serious obstacles
are created
by the fact of increasing the aging
category
in the economic sector of the society.

To conclude
, it is
extremely
beneficial for the
society
preserving elderly life since they provide family with
love
and
society
with their knowledge.
However
,
some
economic drawbacks appear by their competition on the market place,
as well
as their health demands.
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IELTS essay The number of older people is increasing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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