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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some say that this information may be related and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have different views about whether an employer should inquire about personal information of applicants or not. While some believe that asking about this information such as their likes, dislikes, or material status in a job application is beneficial and relevant, I agree with those opposing this view. Those contending that requiring a job applicant to provide personal information is justifiable have their own reasons. Such information, first, will lead to higher level of output in a business: for an applicant whose hobby is playing basketball a bright prospective occupation could be blue-collar jobs like working in a factory or on a construction site which are physically demanding. Matching their interests with their tasks at workplaces make staff more effective at work. This might, similarly, help an employer select right candidates, and match them with right opportunity. Knowing about marital status of those seeking a job, the employers will realize how much time these applicants will be able to allocate their work. If an employer is looking to hire an air hostess supposed to work odd hours and even on weekends, it does not make sense for them to hire a woman with young kids. Having said that, I am still convinced that these details are useless and irrelevant. During hiring process, what makes a candidate front-runner is their qualifications not their personal lives. The better-educated applicants are, the more chance they will have to be recruited, meaning a position would be offered on the basis of the candidates' ability. These personal questions could, furthermore, be both intrusive into the privet lives of applicants and biased. Everybody has their boundaries. Hardly do applicants feel comfortable, when an employer transgress these boundaries, as many of them feel like employers can take advantages of their information. Many employers, for instance, will be reluctant to hire the married candidate, since the unmarried counterparts will have more freedom to do graveyard shifts and work on weekends. To conclude, despite some benefits of collecting personal information of job candidates, I clearly believe that not only would querying about this datum be ineffective, but it can also bother the applicant due to its biased and intrusive nature.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
should inquire about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants
or not. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that asking about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as their likes, dislikes, or material status in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
application is beneficial and relevant, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those opposing this view.

Those contending that requiring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is justifiable
It seems that “to” is missing in front of the verb.
have
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reasons. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
,
first
, will lead to higher level of output in a business: for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant
whose hobby is playing basketball a bright prospective occupation could be blue-collar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like working in a factory or on a construction site which are
physically
demanding. Matching their interests with their tasks at workplaces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
staff more effective at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This might,
similarly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
select right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
, and match them with right opportunity. Knowing about marital status of those seeking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
will realize how much time these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants
will be able to allocate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. If an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
is looking to hire an air hostess supposed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
odd hours and even on weekends, it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sense for them to hire a woman with young kids.

Having said that, I am
still
convinced that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
are useless and irrelevant. During hiring process, what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
front-runner is their qualifications not their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The better-educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants
are, the more chance they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be recruited
, meaning a position would
be offered
on the basis of the candidates' ability. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
questions could,
furthermore
, be both intrusive into the privet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants
and biased. Everybody has their boundaries. Hardly do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants
feel comfortable, when an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: “transgresses”.
transgress
these boundaries, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them feel like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
can take advantages of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
,
for instance
, will be reluctant to hire the married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
, since the unmarried counterparts will have more freedom to do graveyard shifts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on weekends.

To conclude
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of collecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
, I
clearly
believe that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would querying about this datum be ineffective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
also
bother the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant
due to its biased and intrusive nature.

IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some say that this information may be related and useful. Others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some say that this information may be related and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.