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The new technologies such as mobile phones and computer are somehow responsible to put the family members and relations apart. Do you agree or disagree with the statement above?

The new technologies such as mobile phones and computer are somehow responsible to put the family members and relations apart. above? qjyD
It is agreed that generally modern technologies like smart phones and computers are responsible for the separation of relations of family members. I totally disagree with this statement. These technologies are the only thing that shorten the distance between family members even though they are far from each other. Different applications are available in mobile phones which helps to enhance relationship among their loved ones. This is the generation of technologies where people are connected although, they are not together. Different features such as video chatting, texting is developed in smart phones and computers due to which family members can talk and discuss many things living apart from each other. To understand clearly, I have a good example in which a boy went to another country to continue his further study but, using smart phone features, he can talk to his family and share his experiences without any problem. There are different applications and websites where you can meet new people and create a new bonding between them. Applications such as Facebook, Instagram helps to connect new people. For instance, my older brother who lives next to my house got married few days ago. They were unknown to each other but, they started their new bond and strengthen their relationship by those social application. Now, they have a good relation and started a new happy life. In conclusion, new technologies help to build up new relationship between people as well as minimize the distance between loved ones even though they are not together.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
generally
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
like smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and computers are responsible for the separation of relations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. I
totally
disagree with this statement. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that shorten the distance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members
even though
they are far from each other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
are available in mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to enhance relationship among their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

This is the generation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are connected
although, they are not together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
features such as video chatting, texting
is developed
in smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and computers due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members can talk and discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things living apart from each other. To understand
clearly
, I have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example in which a boy went to another country to continue his
further
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, using smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
features, he can talk to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and share his experiences without any problem.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
and websites where you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
bonding between them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Applications
such as Facebook, Instagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, my older brother who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
next
to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married few days ago. They were unknown to each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
bond and strengthen their relationship by those social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
application
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, they have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
happy life.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as minimize the distance between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones
even though
they are not together.
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IELTS essay The new technologies such as mobile phones and computer are somehow responsible to put the family members and relations apart. above?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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