Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. Mx5k
Some people contend that giant supermarkets, that operate in many regions, diminish the ability of local business to survive, therefore local communities will difficult to thrive. To some extent, I personally agree with their claim, but I also agree that the opening of the supermarkets would be beneficial to the people surrounding. Admittedly, there is a justification by people who become the opponents of the supermarket development. Supermarkets can exert leverage over local businesses by attracting more buyer to visit the supermarkets. Supermarket are supported by stronger financial than the local stores are, so that they are able to supply many kinds of items from all over the world with cheaper prices as they buy these items in large quantity. However, still I support the opinion that the expansion of supermarkets would not certainly take over local community business. The first reason is there is a symbiosis between large supermarkets and people around them. The large supermarkets are likely to utilize the local capacity to provide local vegetables or other things as the local business products are easy to be controlled due the short distances. Thus, the more people demand supermarket products, the higher orders that the local businesses receive. Furthermore, the supermarkets demand employees from local people, which spans the job’s opportunity for the local society. Another reason is that local stores offer their customers with a closer relationship and more personal touch. For example, some large local stores in Malang manage to survive because they understand their loyal buyer’s needs and are able to maintain personal communication with each customer, which is hard to be done by national level supermarkets. To sum up, the existence of the large scale of supermarkets in cities may bring advantages and disadvantages for local people but the advantages outweigh the disadvantage. Moreover, local stores have competitive aspects that difficult to be achieved by the large scale of supermarkets.
Some
people
contend that giant supermarkets, that operate in
many
regions, diminish the ability of
local
business
to survive,
therefore
local
communities will difficult to thrive. To
some
extent, I
personally
agree
with their claim,
but
I
also
agree
that the opening of the supermarkets would be beneficial to the
people
surrounding.

Admittedly
, there is a justification by
people
who become the opponents of the supermarket development. Supermarkets can exert leverage over
local
businesses
by attracting more buyer to visit the supermarkets. Supermarket
are supported
by stronger financial than the
local
stores
are,
so
that they are able to supply
many
kinds of items from all over the world with cheaper prices as they
buy
these items in
large
quantity.

However
,
still
I support the opinion that the expansion of supermarkets would not
certainly
take over
local
community
business
. The
first
reason is there is a symbiosis between
large
supermarkets and
people
around them. The
large
supermarkets are likely to utilize the
local
capacity to provide
local
vegetables or other things as the
local
business
products are easy to
be controlled
due the short distances.
Thus
, the more
people
demand supermarket products, the higher orders that the
local
businesses
receive.
Furthermore
, the supermarkets demand employees from
local
people
, which spans the job’s opportunity for the
local
society.

Another reason is that
local
stores
offer their customers with a closer relationship and more personal touch.
For example
,
some
large
local
stores
in
Malang
manage to survive
because
they understand their loyal buyer’s needs and are able to maintain personal communication with each customer, which is
hard
to
be done
by national level supermarkets.

To sum up, the existence of the
large
scale of supermarkets in cities may bring advantages and disadvantages for
local
people
but
the advantages outweigh the disadvantage.
Moreover
,
local
stores
have competitive aspects that difficult to
be achieved
by the
large
scale of supermarkets.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts