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The music you listen to says a lot about the kind of person you are How far do you agree with this Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

The music you listen to says a lot about the kind of person you are How far do you agree with this Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer 85Jjr
Each of us has a memorable situation which can associate with a particular kind of music. That can vary from sadness or happiness and a song with a lyric that sounds would reveal them. It is my firm believe that music we listen to says many things about kind of people we are for a number of reasons and I will develop some supportive explanations in the subsequent paragraphs. First of all, we humans are emotional creatures and easily influenced by pleasant songs that approached our heart. By listening a particular song we elicit feeling in us that might be different. Moreover, a melody is sentimental because it might reminds us some past events in our lives and then the trenchant feeling ramps up. As a result, some people even cry when listening songs cause they are deeply involved in their memories associated with the type of song. Those people who express kind of emotions by hearing a music are genuine, because they don't have the ability to conceal their real being in front of others. For example, my grandmother is a big-hearted person and every time when she listens to classical music she cries. I decided to make a surprise for her 65th birthday and bought a ticket for a live concert and she was so exited and happy. In addition some people, especially teenagers covet to affiliated themself into a particular group that listen to particular music. Although, don't like the music they emulate others in the clique and want to become same, because they considers themself as trendy and one step ahead. They dress up and behave in some ways urged by the music, therefore it is readily recognizable how they want to look like and eventually be their personality. Heavy metal music is a compelling example of how people keen of that style behave. It is often denote as an aggressive music that black color appears in clothes' style illustrating the death. Consequently, heavy metal aficionados are in an ebullient mood and some of them even inclined to malefaction. It is easy to understand a person's personality, if he or she has a demeanor and outfit that are different. In conclusion, a music is an important factor to reveal a real personality of somebody. When a person has experienced crisis like separation with loved one and listen to a song that reminds him that bad moment, countenance shows that person is deeply sensitive. Also, teenagers who want to look respectful or more than others, often joint a group that follow principles and listen to aggressive music.
Each of us has a memorable situation which can associate with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. That can vary from sadness or happiness and a song with a lyric that sounds would reveal them. It is my firm believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to says
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things about kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we are for a number of reasons and I will develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
supportive explanations in the subsequent paragraphs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we humans are emotional creatures and
easily
influenced by pleasant songs that approached our heart. By listening a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
song we elicit feeling in us that might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
Moreover
, a melody is sentimental
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "remind"
reminds
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and then the trenchant feeling ramps up.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even cry when listening songs
Did you mean "because they"?
cause they
are
deeply
involved in their memories associated with the type of song. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who express kind of emotions by hearing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are genuine,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don't have the ability to conceal their real being in front of others.
For example
, my grandmother is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
-hearted person and every time when she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listens
to classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
she cries. I decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a surprise for her 65th birthday and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a ticket for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
concert and
she was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Did you mean "excited" (=enthusiastic) instead of 'exited' (=gone away)?
exited
and happy.

In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
covet to affiliated
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
group that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Although, don't like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
they emulate others in the clique and want to become same,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "consider"
considers
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
as trendy and one step ahead. They dress up and behave in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways urged by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
therefore
it is
readily
recognizable how they want to look like and
eventually
be their personality.

Heavy metal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a compelling example of how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
keen of that style behave. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
denote as an aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that black color appears in clothes' style illustrating the death.
Consequently
, heavy metal aficionados are in an ebullient mood and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them even inclined to malefaction. It is easy to understand a person's personality, if he or she has a demeanor and outfit that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

In conclusion
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor to reveal a real personality of somebody. When a person has experienced crisis like separation with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to a song that reminds him that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
moment, countenance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that person is
deeply
sensitive.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who want to look respectful or more than others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
joint a group that follow principles and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
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IELTS essay The music you listen to says a lot about the kind of person you are How far do you agree with this Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
430 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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