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The movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

The movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems? JN8a
People moving from rural to urban for jobs, results in concerns for both the places. This will largely lead to housing and traffic issues in the cities and depletion of farming in the villages. However, there are many different measures that could be implemented by the government to resolve the issues of urbanization. Such migration from small villages to big cities in search of well being give rise to several problems. One of which is lack of adequate housing in the cities. Large cities are already crowded and lack vacant land for the construction of multi story buildings, hence, to accommodate new immigrants they have to cut more trees to create space. Moreover, increased city population in an area will also mean more traffic congestion and more pollution. Many studies have shown that the majority of metropolitan cities experience poor air quality which is hazardous for its residents. Consequently, more people coming from rural to urban will merely aggravate these problems. Whereas, in villages urbanization has resulted in shortage of labor which has led to depletion of farming. Less people on farms have reduced the agricultural output, thus less crops available for consumption at an inflated price. Similar trends have force many agricultural countries to end up importing staples from other countries to meet demand. There are a number of ways to tackle the problems caused by the people who migrated to cities in search of jobs from small towns. Firstly, the government should take initiatives in order to create new work opportunities for people in villages. Secondly, government should also invest in infrastructure, hospitals and schools so that better facilities are available to villagers so that they are not encouraged to leave their hometown. To conclude, unless the government spend its budget on developing the rural areas, the problem of urbanization could not be solved.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
moving from rural to urban for jobs, results in concerns for both the places. This will
largely
lead to housing and traffic issues in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and depletion of farming in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
measures that could
be implemented
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to resolve the issues of urbanization.

Such migration from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in search of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
give rise to several problems. One of which is lack of adequate housing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are already crowded and lack vacant land for the construction of multi story buildings,
hence
, to accommodate new immigrants they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
more trees to create space.
Moreover
, increased city population in an area will
also
mean more traffic congestion and more pollution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
studies have shown that the majority of metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
experience poor air quality which is hazardous for its residents.
Consequently
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming from rural to urban will
merely
aggravate these problems.

“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
urbanization has resulted in shortage of labor which has led to depletion of farming.
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
Less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on farms have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the agricultural output,
thus
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun crops is countable.
less
crops available for consumption at an inflated price. Similar trends have force
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
agricultural countries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up importing staples from other countries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
demand.

There are a number of ways to tackle the problems caused by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who migrated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in search of jobs from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns.
Firstly
,

the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take initiatives in order to create new work opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
also
invest in infrastructure, hospitals and schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that better facilities are available to villagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are not encouraged to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their hometown.

To conclude
, unless the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spend its budget on developing the rural areas, the problem of urbanization could not
be solved
.
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IELTS essay The movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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