Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? nqlg
Across the globe, many individuals have debated over the issue of economic development which takes place in most countries nowadays. Thus, it is widely accepted that this implement can contribute to higher living standards of nation, and as a consequence, a number of other significant social aspects are vanished. While there are both beneficial and detrimental effects associated with industrialisation, I firmly believe that the positive aspects take precedence over the drawbacks. First of all, the major goal of the economic development is to enhance and strengthen the living standards of people. In other words, it conclusively means that by supplying people with all possible facilities, they are able increase their productivity and the level of enthusiasm about the jobs. As a result, a majority of population experience the higher income and excellent salaries which provide them with even more sophisticated lives. Second of all, the education sector is prone to see a variety of improvements and positive changes throughout the industrial development. It conclusively means that the literacy rate among nations is expected to be increased and in stark contrast, the problem of illiteracy is going to be resolved. Consequently, countries become more academically developed to compete with other countries in the international arena. On the other hand, the economic growth can attribute to such issues as environmental pollution, especially of air and water sources. It is intuitively obvious that nowadays, a large number of people commence shifting from agriculture to industry, then service sector. Therefore, it is difficult to protect the ecosystem when factories and manufactures of all types are being constructed, contaminating the environment through greenhouse gas, carbon dioxide and nuclear emissions. To conclude from the aforementioned points, although the economic development is capable of harming to the environment, people can benefit from it owing to the opportunities it gives to improve people’s way of living, including education sector with the increased literacy rate. Hence, I personally claim that the advantages of this issue significantly outweigh its disadvantages.
Across the globe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals have debated over the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
which takes place in most countries nowadays.
Thus
, it is
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that this implement can contribute to higher living standards of nation, and as a consequence, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
significant social aspects
are vanished
. While there are both beneficial and detrimental effects associated with
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
, I
firmly
believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects take precedence over the drawbacks.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the major goal of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is to enhance and strengthen the living standards of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, it
conclusively
means that by supplying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with all possible facilities, they are able increase their productivity and the level of enthusiasm about the jobs.
As a result
, a majority of population experience the higher income and excellent salaries which provide them with even more sophisticated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Second of all, the education sector is prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a variety of improvements and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
throughout the industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. It
conclusively
means that the literacy rate among nations is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
be increased
and in stark contrast, the problem of illiteracy is going to
be resolved
.
Consequently
, countries become more
academically
developed to compete with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries in the international arena.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth can attribute to such issues as environmental pollution,
especially
of air and water sources. It is
intuitively
obvious that nowadays,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commence shifting from agriculture to industry, then service sector.
Therefore
, it is difficult to protect the ecosystem when factories and manufactures of all types are
being constructed
, contaminating the environment through greenhouse gas, carbon dioxide and nuclear emissions.

To conclude
from the aforementioned points, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is capable of harming to the environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can benefit from it owing to the opportunities it gives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
way of living, including education sector with the increased literacy rate.
Hence
, I
personally
claim that the advantages of this issue
significantly
outweigh its disadvantages.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
331 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?