Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some peoe think that you need more money to be happy ,while others prefer to have more free time than money . Discuss both views and giver your own opinion.

Some peoe think that you need more money to be happy, while others prefer to have more free time than money. 3DPn
People who believe that money is more important than time must be very optimistic because they know the value of the money in recent times. However, the other group of people strongly believe that money is not the way to your happy life and therefore more free time is required. It is widely accepted that money is the inevitable need for humans. This factor cannot be ignored whatsoever. It starts with the birth of infants. For example, to amuse them, parents buy them many kind of toys. When an infant turn into a child, he requires school bag, water bottle and other stuffs of his own choice. Going further, when a child is converted into a college or university student, he needs money to spend on his friends or to hang out with them. This certainly does not stop here. When a person is married he plans to go for an abroad trip to please his spouse and himself. How can a human satisfy his happiness? The answer is money! If people do not have money to spend on them the life would be miserable and eventually over-stressing would be the result which could prove very fatal. It is a clear concept that more money means more joyousness. On the contrast, other people believe that free time has extraordinary values. They believe that over-indulgence in monetary values decrease the social life. For example, those people who tend to earn more money require to work for extra hours which means they have less time for themselves of for their families. No doubt that with this paycheck they can have the most luxurious life but this cannot be compromised against your private life. Happiness is actually what lies in family. Give your extra attention to them and to yourself. Nothing is more important than your smile, health and family. All in all I think both money and time play significant role but of course money cannot buy you all the happiness because if it was true then the grudges develop in families or mental stress would not have been existed. Therefore, your time is equally precious as much as money to keep you happy. Money itself cannot give you a sense of satisfaction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
optimistic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know the value of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
However
, the other group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not the way to your happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
therefore
more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is required
.

It is
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the inevitable need for humans. This factor cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
whatsoever. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with the birth of infants.
For example
, to amuse them, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them
Possible agreement error. The noun kind seems to be countable; consider using: "many kinds".
many kind
of toys. When an infant turn into a child, he requires school bag, water bottle and other stuffs of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice. Going
further
, when a child
is converted
into a college or university student, he needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to spend on his friends or to hang out with them. This
certainly
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
here. When a person
is married
he plans to go for an abroad trip to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
his spouse and himself. How can a human satisfy his happiness? The answer is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
! If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to spend on them the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would be miserable and
eventually
over-stressing would be the result which could prove
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fatal. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
concept that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
means more joyousness.

On the contrast, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has extraordinary values. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that over-indulgence in monetary values decrease the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who tend to earn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
require
Did you mean "working"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to work
for extra hours which means they have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves of for their families. No doubt that with this paycheck they can have the most luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this cannot
be compromised
against your private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Happiness is actually what lies in family. Give your extra attention to them and to yourself. Nothing is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than your smile, health and family.

All in all I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
play significant role
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
of course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
you all the happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if it was true then the grudges develop in families or mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
would not have
been existed
.
Therefore
, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
equally
precious as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you happy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
itself cannot give you a sense of satisfaction.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some peoe think that you need more money to be happy, while others prefer to have more free time than money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some peoe think that you need more money to be happy ,while others prefer to have more free time than money . Discuss both views and giver your own opinion.