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Group study is more important or alone study.

Group study is more important or alone study. 6D2B
People have different perspectives on whether schools ought to focus on teaching children to compete or work together as a team. While some people think that competition is more important, others consider that it is better for children to learn to cooperate with each other. Children who learn to compete against each other often do better in school, according to some. In other words, the competition between students motivates them to excel in their studies or tasks which consequently produces better academic performance and results. For example, students generally apply themselves and work harder when they are in direct competition with their classmates. Furthermore, it is commonly believed that being driven to achieve the best is vital in order to succeed later in life when, as adults, they must compete against others in the job market. On the other hand, it is often thought that it is better if the emphasis at school is on cooperating with others in a team. People do not live, work or socialise apart from others, so learning how to work alongside others ought to be taught from childhood. Without these skills, children would lack the ability to communicate with each other or know how to deal with confrontations and conflicts in a constructive way. Another reason why team skills are useful for children is that they can learn how to negotiate with others to complete a task which are useful skills to have for their future. In conclusion, many people think that children need to become more competitive, whereas others
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People
have
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different
perspectives on whether schools ought to focus on teaching
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children
to

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compete
or work together as a team. While
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some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that competition is more
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important
,

others consider that it is
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better
for
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children
to learn to cooperate with each other.

Children who learn to compete against each
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other
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often
do
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better
in school, according to
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some
. In

other words, the competition between students motivates them to excel in their studies or tasks

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which
consequently
produces
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better
academic performance and results.
For example
,
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students


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generally
apply themselves and work harder when they are in direct competition with their

classmates.
Furthermore
, it is
commonly
believed that
being driven
to achieve the best is vital in

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order
to succeed later in life when, as adults, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
compete against others in the job market.

On the
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other
hand, it is
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often
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thought
that it is
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better
if the emphasis at school is on cooperating

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with
others in a team.
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People
do not
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live
, work or
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
apart from others,
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so
learning how
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


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work
alongside others ought to
be taught
from childhood. Without these
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skills
,
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children
would
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lack


the ability to communicate with each
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other
or know how to deal with confrontations and conflicts in

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a
constructive way. Another reason why team
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are useful for
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children
is that they can learn
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
how


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to
negotiate with others to complete a task which are useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to have for their future.

In conclusion
,
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to become more competitive, whereas others

IELTS essay Group study is more important or alone study.

Essay
  American English
15 paragraphs
255 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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