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Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. dmjX
Celebrating events is getting increasingly popular nowadays. While a number of people are in opinion that spending huge amount of money on these events is a mere of waste of money, others think it has a value addition. This essay will discuss why the few think that the cost is justified but why it is more of a wastage. People organise lavish parties on different occasion like birthday, wedding etc. Firstly, people get together in those events and make new friends which in turn boost their social life. Also, these event create long lasting memories in the minds of the people. For example, whenever we watch the recording of the events, we would be reminiscent of our kith and kin and re-live the moments we spent with them. In addition, it is a source of income to many people like florist, caterers etc. Therefore, we can say expenditure is useful in nature. On the other hand, while spending, people tend to go overboard. This would generally result in financial hiccups which last many years. Also, there is a lot of food wastage during the bash which can otherwise be used to feed the needy. For instance, we can find news where people even commit suicide as they were unable to repay the money they borrowed from money lenders. Hence, we can understand why over spending is more of a problem. To conclude, with more spending capacity these days, people are spending more to celebrate the occasions. This essay discussed why people spend huge amount on galas and also why it is more of a misuse. In my opinion, people have to be cautious of their spending capacity and use the money in more productive schemes like investing for their offspring's future needs rather than wasting on celebrations.
Celebrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is getting
increasingly
popular nowadays. While a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is a mere of waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has a value addition. This essay will discuss why the few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the cost
is justified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why it is more of a wastage.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
lavish parties on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
occasion like birthday, wedding etc.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends which in turn boost their social life.
Also
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
create
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
memories in the minds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, whenever we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the recording of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, we would be reminiscent of our kith and kin and re-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the moments we spent with them.
In addition
, it is a source of income to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like florist, caterers etc.
Therefore
, we can say expenditure is useful in nature.

On the other hand
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to go overboard. This would
generally
result in financial hiccups which last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years.
Also
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
food wastage during the bash which can
otherwise
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to feed the needy.
For instance
, we can find news where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even commit suicide as they were unable to repay the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they borrowed from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
lenders.
Hence
, we can understand why over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
is more of a problem.

To conclude
, with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
capacity these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
more to celebrate the occasions. This essay discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend huge amount on galas and
also
why it is more of a misuse. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be cautious of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
capacity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in more productive schemes like investing for their offspring's future needs
rather
than wasting on celebrations.
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IELTS essay Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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