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The most common solution for criminal behavior is prison but many believe that education is a better method.

The most common solution for criminal behavior is prison but many believe that education is a better method. B0pX
Crime is the one of the most problematic aspects in each country, and many try to prevent it via various ways. While there is a huge argument about crime solution, I believe education and prison are equally important to tackle this issue. Although crime is usually linked to poverty, over the last few years there has been a significant rise in crime rate in many countries where financial prospects are seen. The main reason such growth is considered lack of decent education. For example, in the West crime happened more often than in eastern countries despite the fact that they are less developed. Take Central Asia as an example, where crime rate is considerably lower than some developed countries, people in such countries are usually educated from early childhood to acquire a set of beliefs and values regarding what is right and wrong. As a result, children unconsciously make a habit of obeying these rules which help to shape their behavior in future. Furthermore, despite the clear benefits education can bring about, it should also be taken into account that there are other factors that can contribute crime such as income inequality, personality, diverse social background and etc. And these factors could lead people to feel free to steal, murder, violate social laws and perpetrate any crime they choose if there is not threat of prison. A good example of few crimes can be seen in such countries with strict, mandatory sentence guidelines. In eastern Asia for example death penalty is still applied for drug trafficking and distribution which can often curb drug abuse. To sum up, in addition to providing early moral education, prisons also should be maintained. While education shapes people’s personality, prisons can help to deter them from a criminal lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
is the one of the most problematic aspects in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it via various ways. While there is a huge argument about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
solution, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to tackle this issue.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
usually
linked to poverty, over the last few years there has been a significant rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where financial prospects are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. The main reason such growth
is considered
lack of decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, in the West
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
happened more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than in eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
despite the fact that they are less developed. Take Central Asia as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is
considerably
lower than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
usually
educated from early childhood to acquire a set of beliefs and values regarding what is right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
As a result
, children
unconsciously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a habit of obeying these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to shape their behavior
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

Furthermore
, despite the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "benefits'" or "benefit's"?
benefits
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education
can bring about, it should
also
be taken
into account that there are other factors that can contribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
such as income inequality, personality, diverse social background
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. And these factors could lead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to feel free to steal, murder, violate social laws and perpetrate any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
they choose if there is not threat of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
of few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with strict, mandatory sentence guidelines. In eastern Asia for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
death penalty is
still
applied for drug trafficking and distribution which can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
curb drug abuse.

To sum up,
in addition
to providing early moral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
also
should
be maintained
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
shapes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s personality,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to deter them from a criminal
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
lifestyle
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IELTS essay The most common solution for criminal behavior is prison but many believe that education is a better method.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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