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Television is a very popular kind of entertainment and most people watch it regularly. However, some people believe that watching TV is not good for children and parents should restrict the amount of TV their children watch. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Television is a very popular kind of entertainment and most people watch it regularly. However, some people believe that watching TV is not good for children and parents should restrict the amount of TV their children watch. 1Djn
In recent years, television has become very popular to entertain people regularly. Children spend a huge amount of time watching television these days. Some people believe that watching television is good for children in many ways (ini mengubah pertanyaan, karna di soal blgnya people believe that TV is NOT good). However, Therefore, I agree with this idea that parents should restrict the amount of TV their children watch. To begin with, television is has a negative influence on children because it shows some of unsuitable commercials and programs that can affect children’s behaviour. For instance, electronic gadgets, toys, and candies some commercials such as gadgets, toys, or confectionary that can make lead children to misunderstand and force their parents to buy those unimportant products because children are exposed to commercials excessively things which are not important. Moreover, some characters on television programs often shows aggressive behaviour that children might copy. Those inappropriate scene such as bullying, violence, and smoking or drinking that might confuse children and lead them to think that it is right to behave that way. to understand between right and wrong. Another significant negative influence is children can be addicted to television. This means that children spend too much time on watching television and they might miss skip other important activities. Children may lose time that could have been be spend for on playing outside and doing school work. Consequently, that lead them to not achieving good grades in their academic they end up with poor grades academically and also performance and school. Lastly, watching too much television might cause lack of social skills for children. As mentioned on previous paragraph, children spend too much time in front of television instead of going outside and exploring other activities. Consequently, television limit children’s social interaction because they are not used to talk and meet with other people. (bukan argument baru karna ini konsekuensi dari addiction) piker argument lain In conclusion, although television might have several benefits for children, I believe the opposite. (gaada di pertanyaan) Television is not only a negative influence for children behaviour, but it is also effect children’s education.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular to entertain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regularly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways (
Possible spelling mistake found.
ini
Possible spelling mistake found.
mengubah
Possible spelling mistake found.
pertanyaan
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
karna
Possible spelling mistake found.
di
Possible spelling mistake found.
soal
Possible spelling mistake found.
blgnya
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that TV is NOT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
).
However
,
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that parents should restrict the amount of TV their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of unsuitable commercials and programs that can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
For instance
, electronic gadgets, toys, and candies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
commercials such as gadgets, toys, or confectionary that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to misunderstand and force their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those unimportant products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are exposed
to commercials
excessively
things which are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
characters on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
copy. Those inappropriate scene such as bullying, violence, and smoking or drinking that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
confuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and lead them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is right to behave that way.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
understand between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

Another significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
television and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
miss skip other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
activities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
may lose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that could have been
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
for on playing outside and doing school work.
Consequently
, that lead them to not achieving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades in their academic they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with poor grades
academically
and
also
performance and school.

Lastly
, watching too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
cause lack of social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As mentioned on previous paragraph,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
instead
of going outside and exploring other activities.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
social interaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to talk and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. (
Possible spelling mistake found.
bukan
argument
Possible spelling mistake found.
baru
Possible spelling mistake found.
karna
Possible spelling mistake found.
ini
Possible spelling mistake found.
konsekuensi
Possible spelling mistake found.
dari
addiction) piker argument lain

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have several benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I believe the opposite. (
Possible spelling mistake found.
gaada
Possible spelling mistake found.
di
Possible spelling mistake found.
pertanyaan
)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "effected".
effect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education.
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IELTS essay Television is a very popular kind of entertainment and most people watch it regularly. However, some people believe that watching TV is not good for children and parents should restrict the amount of TV their children watch.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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