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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face-to-face. Do the advantages of socializing online outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face-to-face. Do the advantages of socializing online outweigh the disadvantages? bGgY
Nowadays, internet has a great contribution to the way people socialize has changed over time in the modern world. Although there are several advantages of online socialization, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages On the one hand, there are number of arguments in favor of socializing online. The main advantage of people spending time socializing through internet is the flexibility of social networking. This means that internet or social network give people the chance to stay connected with one another anytime and anywhere without having to visit other people. Moreover, it is obvious that social network provides people with the opportunity to socializing socialize with other people living in different parts of anywhere in the world. People can become friends with the same interest to anyone in anywhere as long as they are connected to the internet. (People with the same interest can become friends as long as they connected to the internet). A further advantage is that online socialization is documented, unlike verbal conversation, online chatting can be revisited. In other words, there will always be a possibility to stay in touch with other people. Despite having a few advantages, there are several disadvantages of online socialization. The first drawback is various study has found massive connection between heavy social networking and increasing risk of health issues both mentally and physically. It has proved that when people spend time on social networking excessively social networking until night time, it can disrupt their sleep cycle because people will start to think more about what other people’s are doing instead of getting some sleep. Furthermore, when people started to view other people’s live too often and comparing it to their live compare their lives with other people’s live especially on social media, they can suffer for mental health problem such as depression can actually worsen mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. Another problem that might arise is cyberbullying. For instance, the bully spreads false information that includes harmful or mean content about someone else. In conclusion, although there are several advantages of socializing online, socializing through internet has more negative effects. Therefore, it is much better to connected face-to-face.
Nowadays, internet has a great contribution to the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
socialize has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the modern world. Although there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
socialization, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
advantages


On the one hand, there are number of arguments in favor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socializing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socializing
through internet is the flexibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking. This means that internet or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the chance to stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connected
with one another anytime and anywhere without having to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socializing
socialize with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of anywhere in the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can become friends with the same interest to anyone in anywhere as long as they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connected
to the internet. (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
with the same interest can become friends as long as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connected
to the internet). A
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
socialization
is documented
, unlike verbal conversation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
chatting can
be revisited
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, there will always be a possibility to stay in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Despite having a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
, there are several disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
socialization. The
first
drawback is various study has found massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking and increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of health issues both mentally and
physically
. It has proved that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
excessively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking until night
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it can disrupt their sleep cycle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more about what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
are doing
instead
of getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sleep.
Furthermore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
and comparing it to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
compare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
especially
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media, they can suffer for mental health problem such as depression can actually worsen mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. Another problem that might arise is cyberbullying.
For instance
, the bully spreads false information that includes harmful or mean content about someone else.

In conclusion
, although there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socializing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socializing
through internet has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
Therefore
, it is much better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connected
face-to-face.

IELTS essay Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face-to-face. Do the advantages of socializing online outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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