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The most argumentative technology in the world

The most argumentative technology in the world jo81p
The most controversial technology that I know about is nuclear technology due to its potential threat known to the world, despite its advantages. I think this technology should continue to exist as long as its use remains limited to power generation and medical science but not for weapons. The idea of producing weapons of mass destruction that requires nuclear technology will possibly have its grave consequence. These nuclear weapons can cause massive devastation and kill millions of people within a few minutes during any tension escalation between rivals. Since the world has not forgotten the catastrophe in World War II, no one would want to see another global war such as World War III. Hence, I do not support this use which may jeopardise millions of lives. However, the contribution of this technology to the power sector will be useful. It can help produce clean energy that may also be cost-effective, compared to conventional sources like oil, gas and coal. These sources, according to almost every environmentalist, are causing global warming, besides being expensive. On the other hand, nuclear energy can effectively deal with these problems, especially in under-developed countries like Pakistan, facing energy crises and having a limited budget. Thus, avoiding this technology may make the countries restrain from reaping this advantage. Similarly, the use of this technology seems to have brought a revolution in medical science. Now, finding out about any fatal disease and its cure have become somewhat reliable and accurate. Cancer, for instance, can now be easily diagnosed at its initial stage and treated. Therefore here, this technology should remain in use. To conclude, nuclear technology needs to exist when serving and saving human beings and not destroying them. Nevertheless, any misuse of it will do more harm than good.
The most controversial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that I know about is nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
due to its potential threat known to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, despite its advantages. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should continue to exist as long as its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
remains limited to power generation and medical science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not for weapons.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of producing weapons of mass destruction that requires nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will
possibly
have its grave consequence. These nuclear weapons can cause massive devastation and kill millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
within a few minutes during any tension escalation between rivals. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has not forgotten the catastrophe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
War II, no one would want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
another global war such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
War III.
Hence
, I do not support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
which may
Possible spelling mistake. 'jeopardise' is British English.
jeopardise
millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

However
, the contribution of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to the power sector will be useful. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
produce clean energy that may
also
be cost
-effective, compared to conventional sources like oil, gas and coal. These sources, according to almost every environmentalist, are causing global warming,
besides
being expensive.
On the other hand
, nuclear energy can
effectively
deal with these problems,
especially
in under-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
like Pakistan, facing energy crises and having a limited budget.
Thus
, avoiding this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the countries restrain from reaping this advantage.

Similarly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
seems to have brought a revolution in medical science.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, finding out about any fatal disease and its cure have become somewhat reliable and accurate. Cancer,
for instance
, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be
easily
diagnosed at its initial stage and treated.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
here, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should remain in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

To conclude
, nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
needs to exist when serving and saving human beings and not destroying them.
Nevertheless
, any misuse of it will do more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
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IELTS essay The most argumentative technology in the world

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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