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The money spent on space research has been brought enormous benefits to mankind, but it could be more usefully applied?

Many people think that the money spent on space exploration is better spend on solving the world's various problems. They feel that world issues take priority over scientfic research. however, i think space research is as important as people's financial conflicts. For a start, earth can be imagined as a small island in an unkhown and vast world. Knowing the outside world has many benefits for us. for instance, by doing this we can prepare for the potential dangers that may occur in the comming years. Access to the GPS system is another of these benefits that has had a huge impact on people's life. If we spend the money that should be spend on space research on the problems of the world, we can reduce the rate of hunger and homelessnes in the world. but on the other hand, stopping these discoveries in the not too distant future will be to the detriment of humanity. we can't just look at the present and not think about the future. we must be as concerned about the future as we are about present. The space is full of various benefits and dangers which we should be aware of. We can use the knowledge of the outside world to advance our world. Space research gives us very useful information that can be used to access many possibilities. It can also inform us of intresting facts about the world. Ignorance of the facts of the world which we live in is like blindness. So we will have a clearer view of the world by gaining informations. And this important issue must be separated from other issues in the world and each must be resolved separately.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the money spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration is better spend on solving the world's various problems. They feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
issues take priority over
Possible spelling mistake found.
scientfic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
however
,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's financial conflicts.

For a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
, earth can
be imagined
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
island in an
Possible spelling mistake found.
unkhown
and vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Knowing the outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for us.
for instance
, by doing this we can prepare for the potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
that may occur in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
comming
years. Access to the GPS system is another of these benefits that has had a huge impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.

If we spend the money that should be
Consider using the past participle “spent”.
spend
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
on the problems of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate of hunger and
Possible spelling mistake found.
homelessnes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
but
on the other hand
, stopping these discoveries in the not too distant future will be to the detriment of humanity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
we
can't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
look at the present and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be as concerned about the future as we are about present. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is full of various benefits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
which we should be aware of.

We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the knowledge of the outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to advance our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
gives us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful information that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to access
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possibilities. It can
also
inform us of
Possible spelling mistake found.
intresting
facts about the world.

Ignorance of the facts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in is like blindness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we will have a clearer view of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
by gaining
The word ‘informations’ is a legal term. In standard English, the word ‘information’ is a non-count noun.
informations
. And this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be separated
from other issues in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be resolved
separately
.
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IELTS essay The money spent on space research has been brought enormous benefits to mankind, but it could be more usefully applied?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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