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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Working provides people experience and skill to carry out work in better way. when people work in same place it improves skill as well as provide promotion. For example, Nursing is a profession where she can become expert in performing procedure when she practice it regularly for Long time. Also when employee are working for same company so long they will be appreciated with better position. So working for one organization comes with lots of benefits. However, when people work for various institution they will gain different knowledge and it will be more interesting as well. Working in same place, same way bring laziness and boredom in people's life. But when people go to different working environment they can work with more energy. For instance, Famous businessman, Matin john left his career in business instead he was earning huge amount of money because he wanted to gain more knowledge except business. Hence, changing job brings more joy and knowledge to people's life. In my opinion, it is always better to work in the field in which you are good at. If we try to get involved in everything in which we don't have knowledge a then we will not be able to perform our duty properly. So, i prefer working for one company for life long. To sum up, being employed with one organization will improve skill and high probability of better position whereas working with various company Will help to enhance knowledge and bring joy while performing activities. I firmly believe doing job in one organization is better than changing it time to time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to carry out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
way.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in same place it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
as well
as provide promotion.
For example
, Nursing is a profession where she can become expert in performing procedure when she
The pronoun ‘she’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “practices”, “practiced”.
practice
it
regularly
for Long time.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
when employee are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long they will
be appreciated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
position.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for one organization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with lots of benefits.

However
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for various institution they will gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
knowledge and
it will be more interesting
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
in same place, same way bring laziness and boredom in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with more energy.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Famous
businessman,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Matin
john
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
his career in business
instead
he was earning huge amount of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he wanted to gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
except business.
Hence
, changing job brings more joy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.

In my opinion, it is always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the field in which you are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at. If we try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in everything in which we don't have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
a then we will not be able to perform our duty
properly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for life long.

To sum up,
being employed
with one organization will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and high probability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
position whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
Will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and bring joy while performing activities. I
firmly
believe doing job in one organization is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than changing it time to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
time
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IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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