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The mobile phone has made a positive contribution to our lives today.

The mobile phone has made a positive contribution to our lives today. 2bROA
Mobile phone is a wonderful device. Some people think that the appearance of mobile phone has changed our lives because of many benefits it bring us. Other people argue that mobile have negative effects on our lives. This essay I will explore two opinions about using mobile phones. Today, mobile phone has become popular to everybody since it is very convenient. The most advantage of having a mobile phone is that we can communicate to our family and our friends no matter what where we are. For instance, we can contact easily to our friends by calling or sending messages everywhere without electricity. It is maybe the main reason why most of people today choose to own a mobile phone. From the customer’s point of view, it is obvious that mobile phones assist you in business a lot, such as, make schedule of working, surf the internet, and keep in touch with their companies. Moreover, we can relax with mobile phone’s applications, for example, play games, listen to music, or chat with your friends. On the other hand, there are also disadvantages. Using a lot mobile phone can harm our brain, particularly teenager and children who are under 16 years old. If we use mobile phones too much, we will get bad effects like dizzy, blood-brain barrier, or ears problems. In addition, when we use mobile phones while we are driving, we will get an accident. It is not good for you and others. Moreover, radiations emitted from the phone are dead harmful for the eardrum. Owning a mobile phone in our hand is that we can solve many issues and hold most of information around the world. Even though is not good for your health and we have to protect ourselves from bad effects of mobile phones if we choose to have one.
Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is a wonderful device.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the appearance of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits it
Did you mean "brings"?
bring
us. Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "that mobile has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that mobile have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay I will explore two opinions about using mobile phones.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has become popular to everybody since it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient. The most advantage of having a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is that we can communicate to our family and our friends no matter what where we are.
For instance
, we can contact
easily
to our friends by calling or sending messages everywhere without electricity. It is maybe the main reason why most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. From the customer’s point of view, it is obvious that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
assist you in business a lot, such as,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
schedule of working, surf the internet, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Moreover
, we can relax with mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone’s
applications,
for example
, play games, listen to music, or chat with your friends.

On the other hand
, there are
also
disadvantages. Using a lot mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
can harm our brain,
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
and children who are under 16 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
too much, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects like dizzy, blood-brain barrier, or ears problems.
In addition
, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
while we are driving, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an accident. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
Moreover
, radiations emitted from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
are dead harmful for the eardrum.

Owning a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
in our hand is that we can solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues and hold
Consider using "most information" or "most of the information".
most of information
around the world.
Even though
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for your
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
protect ourselves from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
if we choose to have one.
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IELTS essay The mobile phone has made a positive contribution to our lives today.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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