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The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people.

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people. EboL
Whether reporting the ordinary peoples' lives and relationships should be more than celebrities on media has caused public controversy. While some experts assert that reflecting famous peoples' lives can absorb many audiences and entertain people, numerous others suggest that it has a negative impact on the people, especially the younger generation. I personally share the later viewpoint, referring to two reasons which I will explain. Firstly, I think it should be a stick in mind has a vital role in the society. Popular people always show the glamorous parts of their lives, which I find very superficial. Ordinary people, especially adolescents, compare their lives with celebrities' lives on media and imitate them. It has malicious consequences because the real world beyond everyday parties and shopping. So, I believe reflecting ordinary peoples' lives with their challenges shows others that their life problem is not exterior. On the other hand, reporting all ng of the aspects of the celebrity's lives and scrutinizing their life is a kind of privacy violation. For instance, famous people are always followed by paparazzi everywhere and every time, whether this is their choice or not, which I think is a kind of intrusion in their lives. However, if the media report ordinary peoples' lives, they are volunteers and choose to reflect their lives. To sum up, in my opinion, contemporary media should pay more attention to ordinary peoples' lives. Because it can show various sort of the people challenges and also make more privacy for popular people.
Whether reporting the
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ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples'
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lives
and relationships should be more than celebrities on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has caused public controversy. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts assert that reflecting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
can absorb
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
audiences and entertain
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people
, numerous others suggest that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
the younger generation. I
personally
share the later viewpoint, referring to two reasons which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
.

Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it should be a stick in mind has a vital role in the society. Popular
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people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the glamorous parts of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, which I find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
superficial.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
adolescents, compare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
with celebrities'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and imitate them. It has malicious consequences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the real world beyond everyday parties and shopping.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I believe reflecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
with their challenges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
others that their life problem is not exterior.

On the other hand
, reporting all
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ng
of the aspects of the celebrity's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and scrutinizing their life is a kind of privacy violation.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always followed by paparazzi everywhere and every time, whether this is their choice or not, which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is a kind of intrusion in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
However
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
report
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, they are volunteers and choose to reflect their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To sum up, in my opinion, contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should pay more attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
various sort of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
challenges and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more privacy for popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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