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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age, punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age, punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? 0j93
Childhood is the best phase to shape their personality, they can easily learn about right and wrong. One way of making them learn is through punishment. In my opinion, I agree that punishments are helpful in making their future. Primarily, it is vital for children to know their code of conduct and the consequences from the very beginning of their lives. However, giving punishment is a way to make them realize. It does not mean to treat them harshly but to instill the feelings to weigh their actions before doing anything. By experience, children have the habits of throwing things i-e toys and food. Parents took away his favorite toy as a form of punishment. When he repeated the same act, they were patient and reduced his playtime. Gradually, the child realized that his behavior is not welcomed, and he eventually stopped throwing things away. Therefore, children should be able to realize their own mistakes by doing such practice. In addition, children are prone to make mistakes. If they are not punished, they might end up in a huge crime. Hence, parents should observe their behavior be it taking someone’s pencil or an argument over a pack of candies. To illustrate, an American child psychologist from the University of Geneva conducted a research on 60 children. He installed digital cameras in their classrooms as well as home to observe their behavior closely. Those who were caught red-handed, as in stealing a pencil or a notebook were laid back in-game time while others played a football. Furthermore, some were left unpunished at home over a fight, which later gave them courage to repeat the same mistake thus, a child needs to be treated If he does anything wrong. However, most of the parents think that a child is too young to be taught anything, which I think is entirely wrong. Since the fear of punishment could make them think twice before going for a mistake. For example, Alex Peter in his book ‘good and bad parenting’ written in 2004, stated that children who stayed busy in playing games rather than completing their home-work were punished smartly. Their parents stopped giving their pocket money. As a result, they were not able to buy anything of their choice but to eat out of the lunch box only. Therefore, treating them in time shapes them the best. To recapitulate, parents should be actively working on children’s behavior, punishing them at the earliest and rightfully is the key. Henceforth, the deeds of a child shall be acknowledged. Although punishment does not just help them to progress but also direct them to the right path, I believe physical punishments should be avoided.
Childhood is the best phase to shape their personality, they can
easily
learn about right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. One way of making them learn is through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are helpful in making their future.

Primarily
, it is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to know their code of conduct and the
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "from". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences from
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beginning of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them realize. It does not mean to treat them
harshly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to instill the feelings to weigh their actions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
. By experience,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have the habits of throwing things i-e toys and food.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
took away his favorite toy as a form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. When he repeated the same act, they were patient and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
his playtime.
Gradually
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
realized that his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
is not welcomed, and he
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
throwing things away.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be able to realize their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
by doing such practice.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
. If they are not punished, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in a huge crime.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should observe their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
be it taking someone’s pencil or an argument over a pack of candies. To illustrate, an American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
psychologist from the University of Geneva conducted
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
on 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. He installed digital cameras in their classrooms
as well
as home to observe their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
closely
. Those who
were caught
red-handed, as in stealing a pencil or a notebook
were laid
back in-game time while others played a football.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
unpunished at home over a fight, which later gave them courage to repeat the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
thus
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
needs to
be treated
If he does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

However
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is too young to
be taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
, which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. Since the fear of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
.
For example
, Alex Peter in his book ‘
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
parenting’ written in 2004, stated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who stayed busy in playing games
rather
than completing their home-work
were punished
smartly
. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
giving their pocket money.
As a result
, they were not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anything
of their choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to eat out of the lunch box
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Therefore
, treating them in time shapes them the best.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be
actively
working on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
, punishing them at the earliest and
rightfully
is the key. Henceforth, the deeds of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
shall
be acknowledged
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to progress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
direct them to the right path, I believe physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
should
be avoided
.
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IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age, punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
446 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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