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2. For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extent do you agree?

2. For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. L1d8
For decades, the principal of the education system has remained unchanged with reading, writing and Maths. While a group of people vocalize that as computer invention is a part of our life, it should be a task of the school curriculum. I completely agree to revamp the present academic system and add a subject to sharpen the skill set of the new graduates. This essay will amplify why it would be more beneficial though it has some negative consequences and will end with a conclusion. There are several reasons why today people believe that the education system should be changed. Since, the curriculum adopted in the education institutes has still not changed much in the last few years, the graduates find it difficult to get a job in the market. In other words, employers do not want to spend their time and money on imparting training to the freshers as they are looking for graduates who already possess some skill sets to start the work from the very first day of their office. The University of New York, for instance, published a replacement in the year 2019 and it was clear that the students with good expertise in computer languages were offered jobs by visiting companies. Moreover, medical science is also using computer driven machine to do complex operations, thereby, making it a compulsive for the doctors to have a stronghold in computers. Besides, because, nowadays, any sector be IT, factories or government departments, every process is controlled by the computers. So, it is important to have some knowledge in computers. For example, the mine authority of South Africa purchased 2000 Robots from Robot India Limited for mining purpose which means even the mining operations are to be done by the computer operated Robot. However, computer has some negative effect as well that affect the youth badly. Wasting time or less concentration on study, for example. As computer has some software for gaming, most young people spend their time on gaming as well as chatting in social media. At the same time, students do not make their assignment by themselves as it can be found online nowadays. It will be a great loss for the youth’s future as well as our society if computers are being used such negative way. In conclusion, while there is too much emphasis to place on learning computers at school, I believe it is very much needed at school curriculum. Students give more priority to a school subject rather than learning it by own or outside of the class. For avoiding unnecessary tension or depression for future steps, learning computer should be added as a academic subject.
For decades, the principal of the education system has remained unchanged with reading, writing and
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
. While a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
vocalize that as computer invention is a part of our life, it should be a task of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to revamp the present academic system and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
a subject to sharpen the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set of the new graduates. This essay will amplify why it would be more beneficial though it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
with a conclusion.

There are several reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the education system should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. Since, the curriculum adopted in the education institutes has
still
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
much in the last few years, the graduates find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job
The usual preposition for "get a job" is "with" for an organization. Revise: "with the market".
in the market
.
In other words
, employers do not want to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money on imparting training to the freshers as they are looking for graduates who already possess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
sets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the work from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
day of their office. The University of New York,
for instance
, published a replacement in the year 2019 and it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the students with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
expertise in computer languages
were offered
jobs by visiting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Moreover
, medical science is
also
using computer driven machine to do complex operations, thereby, making it a compulsive for the doctors to have a stronghold in computers.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, nowadays, any sector be IT, factories or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
departments, every process
is controlled
by the computers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
knowledge in computers.
For example
, the mine authority of South Africa
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
2000 Robots from Robot India Limited for mining purpose which means even the mining operations are to
be done
by the computer operated Robot.

However
, computer has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect
as well
that affect the youth
badly
. Wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or less concentration on study,
for example
. As computer has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
software for gaming, most young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on gaming
as well
as chatting in social media. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, students do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their assignment by themselves as it can
be found
online nowadays. It will be a great loss for the youth’s future
as well
as our society if computers are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way.

In conclusion
, while there is too much emphasis to place on learning computers at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I believe it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum. Students give more priority to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subject
rather
than learning it by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
or
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. For avoiding unnecessary tension or depression for future steps, learning computer should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
academic subject.
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IELTS essay 2. For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
442 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • 2. For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extent do you agree?