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The mass media including television, radio and newspaper have a great influence in shaping people's idea. Some people believe that international news should be included in the curriculum of the students to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The mass media including television, radio and newspaper have a great influence in shaping people's idea. Some people believe that international news should be included in the curriculum of the students KVq7M
The role of mass media is to entertain, to educate and to inform. It has higher impact on the perceptions of people. In such a scenario, one School of thought asserts that foreign news ought to be a part of school curriculum, however it has both positive and negative sides on the career of learner, hence I partially agree with given notion and the reasons for my inclination are articulated in trail paragraphs. To embark with, as international news would be a part of education then novice become enlighten about the world's current situation, which eventually, enhance their knowledge. As a result, they may not face any difficulties in upcoming life when they may have a international job opportunities. Another bright side of adding alien land news in the part of erudition may provide a change in study, therefore pupils find study more intrigue. For instance, news are mostly in audio-video visual form, hence, it serves entertainment and change in their monotonous school hours. Nonetheless, although it boost horizon, knowledge and interest; might increase burden on student as one subject is more; they could not able to give proper priorities and concentration on all parts. The subject which are already in curriculum, educators must be good at that first as it is necessary. To cite an example, if student is well aware at international news but not good at maths then is would not lead him/her to pinnacle of success. On the close scrutiny, it can be concluded that international news should be part of school syllabus if students are able to acquire it effortlessly.
The role of mass media is to entertain, to educate and to inform. It has higher impact on the perceptions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In such a scenario, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
asserts that foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
ought to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum,
however
it has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides on the career of learner,
hence
I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion and the reasons for my inclination
are articulated
in trail paragraphs.

To embark with, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
would be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of education then novice become enlighten about the world's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation, which
eventually
, enhance their knowledge.
As a result
, they may not face any difficulties in upcoming life when they may have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
job opportunities.

Another bright side of adding alien land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of erudition may provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in study,
therefore
pupils find study more intrigue.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are
mostly
in audio-video visual form,
hence
, it serves entertainment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their monotonous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hours.

Nonetheless, although it
Did you mean "boosts"?
boost
horizon, knowledge and interest; might increase burden on student as one subject is more; they could not able to give proper priorities and concentration on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
. The subject which are already in curriculum, educators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at that
first
as it is necessary. To cite an example, if student is well aware at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
then is would not lead him/her to pinnacle of success.

On the
Consider using "scrutiny".
close scrutiny
, it can
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus if students are able to acquire it
effortlessly
.
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IELTS essay The mass media including television, radio and newspaper have a great influence in shaping people's idea. Some people believe that international news should be included in the curriculum of the students

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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