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The mark of a successful person is to be wealthy and have a successful career To what extent do you agree or disagree Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience Write at least 250 words

The mark of a successful person is to be wealthy and have a successful career Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience NrWL0
Defining the success of life is a very difficult approach. Most people think that indication of success in a person life is measured by the amount of money they earn and based on their professional growth. In my opinion, measurement of success is a subjective issue which merely does not depend on the money and the job they hold. However, they are many other factors depends on the successfulness of a person. Primarily, a person can be said to have succeeded in life if they are, for the majority happy in their life. This does not necessarily require a vast amount of money and a highly paid job in a multinational company. It can derive from family and friends, even being associated with the community we live in. For example, a rich person cannot accomplish the satisfaction in life if he is lonely and does not contribute to the community. In addition, success can be measured by meeting or exceeding the set goals in our life, this does not directly depend on the bank balances or by holding a senior post in the workplace. For example, people who are climbing mountains or sailing solo across the sea, these achievements do not have any direct relation with the money or job, yet they can consider this as a positive achievement in their life. However, to objectively measure success, wealth and career are two indicator factor that can mostly compare between people, so to some extent, they can be considered as factors for success, even though these do not provide any happiness, we could derive from the relatives or friends or by the feeling that we get from the relationship of our society. ¬ To sum up, money and profession are the two easier indicators for measures of success; they are not as significant as factors such as happiness and the achievement of one’s own goals.
Defining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult approach. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that indication of
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success
in a person
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life
is measured
by the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they earn and based on their professional growth. In my opinion, measurement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is a subjective issue which
merely
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does
not depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and the job they hold.
However
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
depends on the successfulness of a person.

Primarily
, a person can
be said
to have succeeded in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
if they are, for the majority happy in their life.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not
necessarily
require a vast amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and a
highly
paid job in a multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. It can derive from family and friends, even
being associated
with the community we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
For example
, a rich person cannot accomplish the satisfaction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
if he is lonely and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not contribute to the community.

In addition
,
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success
can
be measured
by meeting or exceeding the set goals in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not
directly
depend on the bank balances or by holding a senior post in the workplace.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are climbing mountains or sailing solo across the sea, these achievements do not have any direct relation with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or job,
yet
they can consider this as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
achievement in their life.

However
, to
objectively
measure
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success
, wealth and career are two indicator
Possible agreement error. The noun 'factor' seems to be countable, so consider using: "factors".
factor
that can
mostly
compare between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, they can
be considered
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
even though
these do not provide any happiness, we could derive from the relatives or friends or by the feeling that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from the relationship of our society.

¬

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and profession are the two easier indicators for measures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
; they are not as significant as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as happiness and the achievement of one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
goals.
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IELTS essay The mark of a successful person is to be wealthy and have a successful career Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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