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Some people Say that self-employment is better than a job in a company or in a institutions which one is better?

Some people Say that self-employment is better than a job in a company or in a institutions which one is better? KwY5N
In the era of inflation employment plays a crucial role in the life of the people because without employment people cannot survive better life in the society. So, a group of people reckon that self employment is better while other contradicts this view by saying that job is best for the masses. So, this essay shall analyse both the aspects along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraph. To begin with, there are many views which describes that self recruited is better for the people. Firstly, some of the people have an interest into self employment because they feel safe in the self-hired. So people can choose their own domain where they have more experience. Not only this, with this domain they get more liberty and no one can monitoring them and give the orders. Further, the persons who are doing the self-profession they did not afraid by the loss the job so when they do better so they get more profit in their work. Flipping to the other side, job is best than self-employment. The prime one is that, people get fixed salary in their job because it is not matter whether company performs well or not but they get monthly salary. Furthermore, the multitudes who are doing the jobs they get more amenities like as free medical facilities and housing as well. Moreover, when they retired from their work so they also benefited by the monthly pension. Also, teaching programmes are including in the jobs so they should sharp their skills as well as while going outside by their companies they are interacting with other people and when they do very well so employer get promotion in their work. In my opinion, employment is the important for the luxurious lifestyle. So when people want to decide their own job before doing any work, they should develop their skills by working in a company then people are understanding any kind of situation as well as they can earn capital amount of money and people generate new connection with the new people after they start their own profession. Overall, after a lots of thoughts and deliberation it is true to say that both domain are equally well according to their need. So people can learn more skills while doing any type of job whether it is self-employment or job in a company.
In the era of inflation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
plays a crucial role in the life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot survive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life in the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reckon that self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
while other contradicts this view by saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is best for the masses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this essay shall
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both the aspects along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
views which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
that self recruited is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have an interest into self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel safe in the self-hired.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
domain where they have more experience. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, with this domain they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more liberty and no one can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "monitor"
monitoring
them and give the orders.
Further
, the persons who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the self-profession they did not afraid by the loss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more profit in their work.

Flipping to the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
Use "better" to make a comparison with this adjective.
best
than self-employment. The prime one is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
salary in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not matter whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
performs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
or not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
monthly salary.
Furthermore
, the multitudes who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more amenities like as free medical facilities and housing as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
Moreover
, when they retired from their work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
also
benefited by the monthly pension.
Also
, teaching
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are including in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should sharp their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as while going outside by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
they are interacting with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and when they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
employer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promotion in their work.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the luxurious lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to decide their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
any work, they should develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'understanding' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are understanding
any kind of situation as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as they can earn capital amount of money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
generate new connection with the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
profession.

Overall
, after
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a lot" or simply "lots"?
a lots
of thoughts and deliberation it is true to say that both domain are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
according to their need.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
any type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
whether it is self-employment or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
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IELTS essay Some people Say that self-employment is better than a job in a company or in a institutions which one is better?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
392 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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