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The manufacturing and use of cars damages the environment but their popularity is increasing. Why is this happening? How could this be controlled?

The manufacturing and use of cars damages the environment but their popularity is increasing. Why is this happening? How could this be controlled? JO7B
Cars are becoming more common among people, while, the environment is affected greatly by the production as well as the usage of these vehicles. Many factors are responsible for their popularity and certain steps need to be taken to protect the habitat from their deleterious consequences. There are a number of reasons responsible for the increased demand of cars among public. The most telling one lies in the fact that such technological advancements have made the life much easier and convenient. Moreover, travel with comfort offered by cars is also one of the attractive features. Not only do people save time by covering long distances in a few hours, but they do not have to rely on others to commute anywhere. Apart from this, individuals are not aware about the effects of pollution released by these vehicles. Furthermore, various non-biodegradable waste equipment are disposed while the manufacturing without knowing their consequences to the ecosystem. As a result, each and every individual prefer to own and travel by a private car than any other mode of transport. However, measures to deal with this problem are many. First and foremost, certain awareness campaigns should be organised by the government to inform the public about its impacts on the environment. Secondly, the administration should impose stringent regulations that each family needs to be allowed to own one car only and encourage carpool. As, it would be helpful to reduce the increasing number of cars on roads to some extent. Last but not least, the major responsibility is on the public of the nation to use public transport or bicycle if possible to conserve the habitat. In conclusion, the convenience and comfort offered by this advanced machinery has made it popular among individuals as they lack awareness regarding its impacts on surroundings. However, equal contribution by the government as well as the people can reduce its harmful effects to the environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cars
are becoming more common among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, while, the environment is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
greatly
by the production
as well
as the usage of these vehicles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
factors are responsible for their popularity and certain steps need to
be taken
to protect the habitat from their deleterious consequences.

There are a number of reasons responsible for the increased demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. The most telling one lies in the fact that such technological advancements have made the life much easier and convenient.
Moreover
, travel with comfort offered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is
also
one of the attractive features. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
save time by covering long distances in a few hours,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rely on others to commute anywhere. Apart from this, individuals are not aware about the effects of pollution released by these vehicles.
Furthermore
, various non-biodegradable waste equipment
are disposed
while the manufacturing without knowing their
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
the ecosystem.
As a result
, each and every individual prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and travel by a private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
than any other mode of transport.

However
, measures to deal with this problem are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
First
and foremost, certain awareness campaigns should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to inform the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
about its impacts on the environment.
Secondly
, the administration should impose stringent regulations that each family needs to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
and encourage carpool.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
, it would be helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on roads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the major responsibility is on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
of the nation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport or bicycle if possible to conserve the habitat.

In conclusion
, the convenience and comfort offered by this advanced machinery has made it popular among individuals as they lack awareness regarding its impacts on surroundings.
However
, equal contribution by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as well
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its harmful effects to the environment.
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IELTS essay The manufacturing and use of cars damages the environment but their popularity is increasing. Why is this happening? How could this be controlled?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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