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The man expresses his opinion of the plans being made by the University Board of Trustees. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v.1

The man expresses his opinion of the plans being made by the University Board of Trustees. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1
Nowadays, a large number of countries export food and food products to other countries. A lot of people believe that it is more economical and environmentally friendly to eat locally grown foods. In my opinion, consumption of locally grown foods is not only safer for individuals, but also cheaper for local farmers to produce. Firstly, local foods are cultivated without using organic substances like fertilizers so they still retain their essential nutrients whereas, most of the imported foods have been genetically modified thus lost essential nutrients that are needed for total well being. Also, a lot of these imported foods have been discovered to trigger life threatening diseases. A good example of this is a class of foreign rice known as plastic rice that has been known to increase the risk of cancer in people that consume them. In addition, the cost of processing and packaging farm products to prevent them from getting spoilt on transit, is not affordable for local farmers. Most of them can only afford the cost of transportation of their crops to the nearest market for sale. These farmers will be happy and feel rewarded for their labour, if their farm produce is patronized and consumed locally. In conclusion, not all farmers can afford the high cost of processing their farm produce for exports and would rather prefer these crops be consumed locally. Also, community members should enjoy eating their local foods as they have been known to be more beneficial health wise than the imported food products.
Nowadays,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
countries export
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products to other countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is more economical and
environmentally
friendly to eat
locally
grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. In my opinion, consumption of
locally
grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
safer for individuals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
cheaper for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
to produce.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are cultivated
without using organic substances like fertilizers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
still
retain their essential nutrients whereas, most of the imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have been
genetically
modified
thus
lost essential nutrients that
are needed
for total
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
these imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have
been discovered
to trigger life threatening diseases. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of foreign rice known as plastic rice that has
been known
to increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of cancer in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that consume them.

In addition
, the cost of processing and packaging farm products to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from getting
Possible spelling mistake. 'spoilt' is British English.
spoilt on
transit, is not affordable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
. Most of them can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
afford the cost of transportation of their crops to the nearest market for sale. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
will be happy and feel rewarded for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
, if their farm produce
is patronized
and consumed
locally
.

In conclusion
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
can afford the high cost of processing their farm produce for exports and would
rather
prefer these crops
be consumed
locally
.
Also
, community members should enjoy eating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
as they have
been known
to be more beneficial health wise than the imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The man expresses his opinion of the plans being made by the University Board of Trustees. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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