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The main reasons for using social networks ?

The main reasons for using social networks? doKxX
Based upon studies, it’s obvious that there are lots motives about the use of social networks. However, there are two major explanations that cant be ignored in modern society. The first major justification of using social networks such as Internet is its ability to connect us easily to one another at a relatively low cost and without having any geographical boundaries. It means the more we use Internet, the more we can keep our families together. It is worth to mention if someone lives far from his or her family, using social networks is mostly the only way for him or her to stay in touch with his or her family. The second basis motive of utilizing the social media is its potential to provide lots of knowledge, science and ideas for majority of people. It is fast way to inform about the latest and sensational happenings and news. So nowadays people are using lots of contamprary gadgets to know the things inside out. On the other hand, most of people take advantage of this opportunity to become well-informed about news and make their decisions in a better way. As a consequences getting news and being up to date is directly related to people’s financial situation. To sum up, as technology has improved over last century, the importance of using social media in our society is approximately incredible.
Based upon studies, it’s obvious that there are lots motives about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks.
However
, there are two major explanations that
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
in modern society. The
first
major justification of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks such as Internet is its ability to connect us
easily
to one another at a
relatively
low cost and without having any geographical boundaries. It means the more we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Internet, the more we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our families together. It is worth to mention if someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
far from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
family, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks is
mostly
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way for him or her to stay in touch with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
family.

The second basis motive of utilizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media is its potential to provide lots of knowledge, science and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a fast".
fast
way to inform about the latest and sensational happenings and news.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using lots of
Possible spelling mistake found.
contamprary
gadgets to know the things inside out.
On the other hand
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take advantage of this opportunity to become well-informed about news and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their decisions in a better way. As a consequences getting news and being up to date is
directly
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
financial situation.

To sum up, as technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
over last century, the importance of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media in our society is approximately incredible.
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IELTS essay The main reasons for using social networks?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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