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The level of physical activity among school children in Indonesia has dropped dramatically during the pandemic. What solutions can be proposed to deal with these problems?

The level of physical activity among school children in Indonesia has dropped dramatically during the pandemic. What solutions can be proposed to deal with these problems? 2RE6M
Pandemic has changed a lot of the way of people life style especially for children. Every one doing all activities from home and using technolocy rather than doing it outside. This essay will provide information about the lack activity can effected physical activity and make a simple fun gamesis one of suggestion to keep doing an exercise for dealing with this situation. The government make an urgent dicision to decreased the number of people infected with covid-19. They need to stop some activities such as school, shopping center, office and etc. This policy was tricky because every children lost their time to interact with their friends and doing some physical excercise. The result in this condition, children can be stressful, demotivation, and quite difficult to control their emotions. In addition, some parents cannot accompany their kids to do simple sport because of their job. One effective solution to deal with this new normal era is for every parent need to spare a couple of minutes to do simple games in early morning before the lesson of school start. For instance, they can do throw balls games, dance or Yoga for 10 until 15 minutes. Parent should create playmood and encourage the children to pick up the games that they want to do for excercise. In conclusion, we cannot denial about the effect of this pandemic, for this reason we need to adjust some possible activities from home and make sure our kids keep doing physical activity, even though only the simple one.
Pandemic has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
the way of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
life style
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Every one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
from home and using
Possible spelling mistake found.
technolocy
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
it outside. This essay will provide information about the lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
can effected physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simple
fun
Possible spelling mistake found.
gamesis
one of suggestion to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
an exercise for dealing with this situation.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an urgent
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicision
Did you mean "to decrease"?
to decreased
the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
infected with
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
. They need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as school, shopping center, office
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. This policy was tricky
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lost their time to interact with their friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical
Possible spelling mistake found.
excercise
. The result in this condition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be stressful,
Possible spelling mistake found.
demotivation
, and quite difficult to control their emotions.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents cannot accompany their kids to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simple
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their job.

One effective solution to deal with this new normal era is for every parent need to spare a couple of minutes to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simple
games in early morning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the lesson of school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
.
For instance
, they can do throw balls games, dance or Yoga for 10 until 15 minutes. Parent should create
Possible spelling mistake found.
playmood
and encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to pick up the games that they want to do for
Possible spelling mistake found.
excercise
.

In conclusion
, we
The word 'denial' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
cannot denial
about the effect of this pandemic,
for this reason
we need to adjust
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
from home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure our kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
,
even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simple
one.
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IELTS essay The level of physical activity among school children in Indonesia has dropped dramatically during the pandemic. What solutions can be proposed to deal with these problems?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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