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The level of new towns are increase today. Public parks and sports facilities are less important than shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The level of new towns are increase today. Public parks and sports facilities are less important than shopping malls. nRaoR
In this modern era, the proportion of construct new towns is increasing day by day. I disagree with the statement that parks and sports facilities are better than shopping centers as a public space. I firmly believe that shopping centers are as important as parks and sports facilities, therefore when designing new towns, all these spaces should be given equal importance. To begin with, If public parks and sports academics are built in the town, people could be enjoyed and feel relax in these places. In this sedentary lifestyle, humans are becoming unhealthy due to a lack of physical activities and sports play a vital role in health-related problems. Moreover, parks are not only ameliorated depression and health problems but it would be helped to give a new name to the city. For instance, Newyork is famous for its central park, and many towns in the world are known for their parks. On the other hand, shopping centers are a crucial part of the town. The economy of the town is increased due to shopping malls. Shopping malls are that places, which people can purchase their desirable things. Shopping has become a necessity in humans' lifestyles. Without shopping places, people might be suffered from a shortage of essential stuff. Especially for those who are more likely to join with shopping activities. In fact, shopping malls are the best option for spend leisure time especially for children and older. For example, nowadays, shopping malls have full entertainment facilities, children can play inside these clubs or elders come there for sitting and relaxing on the sofas. In conclusion, shopping malls, public parks, and sports are equally in order to the speciality of the town. They are different but plays a common role of improving the life of Ruben inhabitants.
In this modern era, the proportion of construct new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
is increasing day by day. I disagree with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities are better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers as a public space. I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities,
therefore
when designing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
, all these spaces should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal importance.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, If public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
academics
are built
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
be enjoyed
and feel relax in these places. In this sedentary lifestyle, humans are becoming unhealthy due to a lack of physical activities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
play a vital role in health-related problems.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ameliorated depression and health problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to give a new name to the city.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newyork
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for its central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
in the world
are known
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers are a crucial part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
. The economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
is increased
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are that places, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their desirable things.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
has become a necessity in humans' lifestyles. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
places,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might
be suffered
from a shortage of essential stuff.
Especially
for those who are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
activities. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are the best option for spend leisure time
especially
for children and older.
For example
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have full entertainment facilities, children can play inside these clubs or elders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
there for sitting and relaxing on the sofas.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
equally
in order to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'speciality' is British English.
speciality
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
plays a common role of improving the life of Ruben inhabitants.
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IELTS essay The level of new towns are increase today. Public parks and sports facilities are less important than shopping malls.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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