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The invention I like best: Internet

The invention I like best: Internet xxRKa
Internet was invented by the US government's Advanced Research Project Agency (ARPA) in 1969 with the name ARPANet to connect regional academic and military networks. Nowadays, the internet has become a public facility give allowing hundreds of millions of people around the world to access it at the same time. It plays an extremely important part, brings many benefits in man: make a connection, provide entertainment, knowledge in various fields. However, if we abuse the internet too much, it will cause many harms, especially to health. It can be said that the Internet is a major turning point that changes human life. Future, boom belonging to the Internet of Things(IoT) will create momentum belonging to all technological achievements.
Internet
was invented
by the US
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's Advanced Research Project Agency (ARPA) in 1969 with the name
Possible spelling mistake found.
ARPANet
to connect regional academic and military networks. Nowadays, the internet has become a public facility give allowing hundreds of millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world to access it at the same time. It plays an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part, brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a connection, provide entertainment, knowledge in various fields.
However
, if we abuse the internet too much, it will cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harms,
especially
to health. It can
be said
that the Internet is a major turning point that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
human life. Future, boom belonging to the Internet of Things(IoT) will create momentum belonging to all technological achievements.
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IELTS essay The invention I like best: Internet

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
118 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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