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The Internet plays a chief role in this revolution. Personally, I think investing on the internet to bring high speed and high quality for all people

Our century is the technology era. Nowadays, every aspect of our life transforms at a fast-paced speed. The Internet plays a chief role in this revolution. Personally, I think investing on the internet to bring high speed and high quality for all people is more important rather than public transportation. I feel this way, for two specific reasons, which I explore in the following essay. To begin with, if we have access to a reliable and fast internet, an enormous amount of people do not need to go out of their home to work. In fact, a great group of jobs can be done remote. My experience showed me that in some cases efficiency will increase in the companies, while their employees work remotely. For example, my girlfriend is a computer engineer. In the past, she had to use public transportation to get to work. It took about an hour per day to commute the distance. Moreover, when she arrived at the company office, she was tired already. She should drink some tea, and in the winter should make herself warm. On the contrary, she works now from her own home, she wakes up later than those days. She eats her breakfast deliberately and starts her job without any wasting of time. In addition, her employer should not pay or pay less for coffee, bills and other expenses that an office needs. Finally, on the internet, the clients receive adequate responses from the state offices or the private companies. People don't have to go out for their requirements, which reduces public transportation necessity. If we want to pay our bill, or buy clothes we can do them on the internet. For instance, a few years ago, I did not have access to high speed internet, I had to go to DVD stores to buy the movie that I liked. I had to sometimes wait a period until that movie reached our town. In addition, my father gave me lots of bills and other paperwork to do. I was obliged to use the bus for those paperworks and errands. However, these days, I download my favorite movies and music off the web. Furthermore, I pay bills by e-pay methods, and upload those papers, and the state offices do their job faster and smoother than in the past, and what's more, I can see in which section is my case. In conclusion, I strongly feel merits of making the internet more cheaper, reliable, and reachable for all individuals is more than developing public transportation. This is because, in favor of the internet, people are able to work remotely, and also do their errands and shopping from their house, while they do not need public transportation.
Our century is the technology era. Nowadays, every aspect of our life transforms at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced speed. The Internet plays a chief role in this revolution.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
investing on the internet to bring high speed and high quality for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. I feel this way, for two specific reasons, which I explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if we have access to a reliable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
internet, an enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to go out of their home to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In fact, a great group of jobs can
be done
remote. My experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
me that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "cases'" or "case's"?
cases
efficiency will increase in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, while their employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
remotely
.
For example
, my girlfriend is a computer engineer. In the past, she had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It took about an hour per day to commute the distance.
Moreover
, when she arrived at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
, she
was tired
already. She should drink
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tea, and in the winter should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
herself warm.
On the contrary
, she works
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
from her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home, she wakes up later than those days. She eats her breakfast
deliberately
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
her job without any wasting of time.
In addition
, her employer should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
less for coffee,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bills
and other expenses that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
needs.

Finally
, on the internet, the clients receive adequate responses from the state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
or the private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go out for their requirements, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
necessity. If we want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bill
, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
clothes we can do them on the internet.
For instance
, a few years ago, I did not have access to high speed internet, I had to go to DVD stores to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the movie that I liked. I had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
wait a period until that movie reached our town.
In addition
, my father gave me lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bills
and other paperwork to do. I
was obliged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the bus for those
Possible spelling mistake found.
paperworks
and errands.
However
, these days, I download my favorite movies and music off the web.
Furthermore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bills
by e-pay methods, and upload those papers, and the state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
do their job faster and smoother than in the past, and what's more, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in which section is my case.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
feel merits of making the internet
Use only "cheaper" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more cheaper
, reliable, and reachable for all individuals is more than developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in favor of the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
remotely
, and
also
do their errands and shopping from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, while they do not need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
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IELTS essay The Internet plays a chief role in this revolution. Personally, I think investing on the internet to bring high speed and high quality for all people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
453 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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