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2. On balance, advertising is more harmful than beneficial. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertisement has played an vital role id displaying and demand of a commodity or product since the early nineteen century. Although, many individuals hold it more harmful than beneficial. This essay disagrees with the given statement and will provide suitable example for the same. Since the beginning of modern era, advertisement has played a humongous role is the production of a commodity. The creative advertisements, posters, slogans, etc attract the customers attention towards the product. For instance, A study done in 2018 which tracked the customer attention for a commodity from 1990 to 2017 shows that more than 60% of people bought the commodity due to the attractive advertisements. In a tech tech savvy world where buys things ranging from clothes to commodities is one click away makes it easier for the companies to advertise there products and display the salient features as well. A recent research present in the Southern Asia explain how this technological advanced world has made it more convenient for multinational co-operations to sell their products. Although, advertisement is an essential criteria for the marketing. The advertisement industry may at time maybe false and show a different appeal of the product to the eye in real life. For example, A similar incident which with me I had ordered a new phone case from Amazon recently, when the order arrived it had completely different texture and colour to it. Advertisement is an upcoming and competitive area but it doesn’t allow the customer to have a physical feel of the product and doesn’t ensure the quality of it as well. Therefore, Advertisement is an important aspect of marketing as it more accessible for customers to purchase the item and easier to sell for the producers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
has played
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
vital role id displaying and demand of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commodity
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
since the early nineteen
Possible agreement error. The noun 'century' seems to be countable, so consider using: "centuries".
century
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals hold it more harmful than beneficial. This essay disagrees with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and will provide suitable example for the same.

Since the beginning of modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has played a humongous role is the production of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commodity
. The creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, posters, slogans, etc attract the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "customers'" or "customer's"?
customers
attention towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For instance
, A study done in 2018 which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracked
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
attention for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commodity
from 1990 to 2017
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that more than 60% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commodity
due to the attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. In a tech
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
tech savvy
world where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
things ranging from clothes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commodities
is one click away
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to advertise there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and display the salient features
as well
. A recent research present in the Southern Asia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how this technological advanced world has made it more convenient for multinational co-operations to sell their products.

Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is an essential
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "criterion"?
criteria
for the marketing. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
industry may at time maybe false and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
appeal of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to the eye in real life.
For example
, A similar incident which with me I had ordered a new phone case from Amazon recently, when the order arrived it had completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
texture and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
to it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
is an upcoming and competitive area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
to have a physical feel of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and doesn’t ensure the quality of it
as well
.

Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of marketing as it more accessible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the item and easier to sell for the producers.
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IELTS essay 2. On balance, advertising is more harmful than beneficial.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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