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The internet and how if affects us

The internet and how if affects us gxRed
In the 21st century, most of the people who are living in this rapidly changing world need to know how to use the internet in their daily life. The internet can be quite a frustrating experience for some people but numerous people think of it as a place where they can slack off and have a chat with their friends remotely. While it is easy to access the internet nowadays, it can still be intimidating to use it; the more the internet grows, so as the user and the evil people who will then learn how to take advantage from the internet and create horrendous experiences to people around the world. During terrible times like these days— Covid-19 pandemic— where people are the most vulnerable, a lot seem to seek help and comfort themself with the internet with the users from all over the world, believing that the internet will comfort them and is their friend. Many of us seem to rely on the internet and think of it as a place where we can chat with others and make great relationships with people from anywhere in the world. Some people use applications like Discord to communicate with their friends with voice during these remote online learning days while some use social medias like Instagram and Facebook to be connected. Although many studies have shown that the internet has actually brought people closer throughout their wide range of positive communities, there are still side effects that they need to be aware of— While some research has shown that a lot of people have gotten closer together by using the power of the internet, there are still loads of people who are being ignored, isolated, and cyber-bullied. There are a lot of these people in this world, even in many developed countries, to give you one—“Japan”. This topic can be a big problem in the future if we don’t do anything about it as the ever-growing population of new-born babies in this world are increasing which will also be learning how to use the internet in the future. Furthermore, students in this generation are also more isolated than ever, which can be shown by the increasing usage of online learning because of how the students are too shy and too afraid to talk to other people in the classroom. In brief, there is still an ever-growing rate of people who are using the internet in the 21st century which will lead to more problems like isolation, introvertness, cyberbullying in the future, which is most likely unavoidable because it is in our human nature. However, the internet does really reinforce the bonds in some people. In my opinion, I think that the internet is a great tool and is a mandatory system to have in our society but we should create a strict restriction with cyberbullying and teach the new generations ways to use the internet correctly without hurting anybody.
In the 21st century, most of the
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are living in this
rapidly
changing
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world
need to know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet in their daily life. The internet can be quite a frustrating experience for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of it as a place where they can slack off and have a chat with their friends
remotely
. While it is easy to access the internet nowadays, it can
still
be intimidating to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it; the more the internet grows,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as the user and the evil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
will then learn how to take advantage from the internet and create horrendous experiences to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world.

During terrible times like these days— Covid-19 pandemic— where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the most vulnerable, a lot seem to seek
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and comfort
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
with the internet with the users from all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, believing that the internet will comfort them and is their friend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of us seem to rely on the internet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of it as a place where we can chat with others and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
great relationships with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from anywhere in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
applications like Discord to communicate with their friends with voice during these remote online learning days while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social medias like Instagram and Facebook to
be connected
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies have shown that the internet has actually brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer throughout their wide range of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
communities, there are
still
side effects that they need to be aware of—

While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research has shown that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have gotten closer together by using the power of the internet, there are
still
loads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
, isolated, and cyber-bullied. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, even in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, to give you one—“Japan”. This topic can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem in the future if we don’t do anything about it as the ever-growing population of new-born babies in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are increasing which will
also
be learning how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet in the future.
Furthermore
, students in this generation are
also
more isolated than ever, which can
be shown
by the increasing usage of online learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of how the students are too shy and too afraid to talk to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the classroom.

In brief
, there is
still
an ever-growing rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are using the internet in the 21st century which will lead to more problems like isolation,
Possible spelling mistake found.
introvertness
, cyberbullying in the future, which is most likely unavoidable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is in our human nature.
However
, the internet does
really
reinforce the bonds in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the internet is a great tool and is a mandatory system to have in our society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should create a strict restriction with cyberbullying and teach the new generations ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet
correctly
without hurting anybody.
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IELTS essay The internet and how if affects us

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
488 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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