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media such as newspaper television pay too much attention to the famous people and not to regular people

media such as newspaper television pay too much attention to the famous people and not to regular people Yy7rQ
In the past one hundred year, media such as newspaper, television, internet pay too much attention to the famous people like actor and actress singers athletics businessmen and women, of course their privet lives, relationships and their life style have more interest for readers and because of that publishers earn money and those famous people be more reach and famous by take lots of attention and love from fans, but some time people with any special talent easily be popular and rich because of media. In my opinion in the new decade media should consider new policy and give their attention to ordinary and talent people who can have influence on people to be creative and independence. I think to attend of celebrities in future should be lighter and media give the opportunities to those in far part of the country and the world that they are not famous or rich, but they do work to make world to better place to live. People who work hard to protect animals in natural parks in Africa and South America, reporter who say bravely about crime and war in the world, vegans who love nature and do their best to plant trees and save forest, or people in charity that with their big kind heart help children in poor and developing countries. In conclusion, it is the time for journalists, publishers, entertainment companies etc. To change all past strategies for take people attention, and they should be creative and use their voice for more important issue in the world.
In the past one hundred year, media such as newspaper, television, internet pay too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like actor and actress singers athletics businessmen and women,
of course
their privet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, relationships and their life style have more interest for readers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that publishers earn money and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
be more reach and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
by take lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from fans,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with any special talent
easily
be popular and rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of media.

In my opinion in the new decade media should consider new policy and give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
to ordinary and talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can have influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be creative and independence.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to attend of celebrities in future should be
Did you mean "lighted", "lightered", "lit"?
lighter
and media give the opportunities to those in far part of the country and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
or rich,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to protect animals in natural parks in Africa and South America, reporter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
say
bravely
about crime and war in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, vegans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
nature and do their best to plant trees and save forest, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in charity that with their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
kind heart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children in poor and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.

In conclusion
, it is the time for journalists, publishers, entertainment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
etc. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
all past strategies for take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
, and they should be creative and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their voice for more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
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IELTS essay media such as newspaper television pay too much attention to the famous people and not to regular people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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