Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the information have value in the other place discuss about it?

the information have value in the other place discuss about it? gb7LL
In my opinion, significant information that can not share to public people because it has value for the people who want to trade this information in the dark web or dark market. For example, in my country the government their have numerous of the major data such as budget in the country that they used to buy something that useless and they saved it into secret store or secret room because their do not want people to know that but all of we know it. In contrary their have some people who want to sell this secret information to a person who was a head of the deep web. Moreover, this secret data it has a numerous of the personal information such as ID card, passport, address, banking ID that mean it do not have security to protect and prevent this info. After that the head of deep web their want to sell personal data to other countries that make they can cheat people in my country. Furthermore, in modern country their save the significant data such as budget of the country, personal data in the server room that do not have people come to the room their have strict protection for information in the server expect the president or major people because it have valuable in the dark market. Consequently, important information that cannot allocate to public but it has a magnate or important people because they will used this information to develop country as well as used in the right way.
In my opinion, significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that can not share to public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has value for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to trade this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in the dark web or dark market.

For example
, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
their have numerous of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
such as budget in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
useless and
they saved it into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secret
store or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secret
room
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to know that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all of we know it. In contrary their have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to sell this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secret
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to a person who was a head of the deep web.
Moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secret
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
it has
The phrase 'a numerous of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a numerous of
the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as ID card, passport, address, banking ID that mean it do not have security to protect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this info.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the head of deep web their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to sell personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
they can cheat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in my country.

Furthermore
, in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
their save the significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
such as budget of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
in the server room that do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the room their have strict protection for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in the server
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
the president or major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "has"?
have
valuable in the dark market.

Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that cannot allocate to public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has a magnate or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "use"
used
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the right way.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay the information have value in the other place discuss about it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts