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The inclination of human being for More and more advancement in technology and modernization for the betterment of living standard is bound to temper the environment and create threats to life on the earth. To what extent do you agree with this?

The inclination of human being for More and more advancement in technology and modernization for the betterment of living standard is bound to temper the environment and create threats to life on the earth. ElYO3
The advancement in technology and modernization for better lifestyle is being increased by humans which harsh environment and affect other creature. In my opinion, I agree that people living standard disturb the ecosystem and affects other life on the earth. Human always distroy environment for the personal needs but it is intolerable when they disturb ecocycle for the comfortable lifestyle. Using public transport is the option but people using personal vehicle which result pollution and tend to rise temperature of the earth. Similar way using air conditioner in offices for every season just for relaxing maintaining comfortable temperature is another reason. The hot exhaust of the air conditioner heat the environment which leads to global warming. Advancement in technology such as wireless communication and digitalization has been increasing from last decade. Plethora of people using cellular phones. Even the children also having smartphones. The mobile networks harm the bird the most. Some species of the birds are getting disappear due to the this. This breaks the life-cycle. Studies has shown that the signal of mobile phone and a Wi-Fi network has adverse effect on human body in the long run. In conclusion, it is never a reasonable choice to underestimate environment for better living standard.
The advancement in technology and modernization for better lifestyle is
being increased
by humans which harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and affect other creature. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living standard disturb the ecosystem and affects other life on the earth. Human always
Possible spelling mistake found.
distroy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for the personal needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is intolerable when they disturb
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecocycle
for the comfortable lifestyle. Using public transport is the option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using personal vehicle which result pollution and tend to rise temperature of the earth. Similar way using air conditioner in offices for every season
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for relaxing maintaining comfortable temperature is another reason. The hot exhaust of the air conditioner heat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
which leads to global warming.

Advancement in technology such as wireless communication and digitalization has been increasing from last decade. Plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using cellular phones. Even the children
also
having smartphones. The mobile networks harm the bird the most.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
species of the birds are getting disappear due to the this. This breaks the life-cycle.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "study has".
Studies has
shown that the signal of mobile phone and a Wi-Fi network has adverse effect on human body in the long run.

In conclusion
, it is never a reasonable choice to underestimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for better living standard.
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IELTS essay The inclination of human being for More and more advancement in technology and modernization for the betterment of living standard is bound to temper the environment and create threats to life on the earth.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
205 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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