Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The importance of sporting events in encouraging to exercise and other ways to encourage people to exercise?

The importance of sporting events in encouraging to exercise and other ways to encourage people to exercise? WynVa
The question of whether large sporting events such as the Olympics and the World Cup make nations more sporty or not has been widely debated in the media, since the cost of organising these events is putting a significant burden on the taxpayers. While these mega sports seem to be attractive in terms of bringing people's attention to sports, I feel that other methods of encouraging people to exercise are more effective in a pure econonomic sense. International events such as the Olympic Games are believed to attract people to sports which are not popular. Advocates of the Games claim that some sports have only one chance every four years to update their international status and survival of these sports exclusively depend on the Games. In addition, the people organising international sporting competitions justify the huge sums spent on them by saying that there is a positive link between these events and increased physical activity among general public. Statistics show that following mega sporting events there is always an increase in the take-up of new sports, but this change is often short-lived because the number of people engaged in sports fall back to previous levels soon after. In my opinion, other methods of motivating people to become more active is more effective. Rather than building mega stadiums and sporting compexes, which are rarely used after the mega events are held, the government is better off spending the funds to build small but practical sports centres close to residential areas. The availability of sports facilities in the neighbourhood has a positive impact on sports participation of local people. Another way to make people more sporty would be to create more educational programs dedicated to healthy lifestyle and its positives. Health and fitness TV programmes where experts speak about dangers of inactive living and positive aspects of some sports are perceived as chief authotity by many. These programs cost little or no money to the government but they have been proved very powerful in making people more active. In conclusion, the governments stand a better chance of encouraging the whole population to be more physically active if they allocate funds to improve sporting facilities and create more edutional fitness programs.
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
The question of whether
large sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as the Olympics and the World Cup
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
nations more sporty or not has been
widely
debated in the media, since the cost of
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is putting a significant burden on the taxpayers. While these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
seem to be attractive in terms of bringing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, I feel that other methods of encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to exercise are more effective in a pure
Possible spelling mistake found.
econonomic
sense.

International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as the Olympic Games
are believed
to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which are not popular. Advocates of the Games claim that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one chance every four years to update their international status and survival of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
exclusively depend on the Games.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
international sporting competitions justify the huge sums spent on them by saying that there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
link between these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and increased physical activity among
Consider using "public".
general public
. Statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mega
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
there is always an increase in the take-up of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
short-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
engaged in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
fall back to previous levels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
after.

In my opinion, other methods of motivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become more active is more effective.
Rather
than building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mega
stadiums and sporting
Possible spelling mistake found.
compexes
, which are rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are held
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is better off spending the funds to build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
close to residential areas. The availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
participation of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Another way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more sporty would be to create more educational programs dedicated to healthy lifestyle and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positives
. Health and fitness TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
where experts speak about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of inactive living and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
aspects of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are perceived
as chief
Possible spelling mistake found.
authotity
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. These programs cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no money to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have
been proved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
powerful in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more active.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
stand a better chance of encouraging the whole population to be more
physically
active if they allocate funds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
sporting facilities and create more
Possible spelling mistake found.
edutional
fitness programs.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The importance of sporting events in encouraging to exercise and other ways to encourage people to exercise?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The importance of sporting events in encouraging to exercise and other ways to encourage people to exercise?