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Some people say that younger people are not suitable for important positions in governments of countries. Others, however, say that it is a good idea for the younger to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that younger people are not suitable for important positions in governments of countries. Others, however, say that it is a good idea for the younger to take on these positions. 15AEq
It is often argued by some that offering higher positions in governments of nations are not appropriate for youngsters. while, others opine that it would be well enough to handle by them. This essay will discuss about the different views and in my opinion, it will be suitable for younger generation to deal the higher posts because of their thriving skills as well as innovation in their work. y On the one hand, many argue that influential positions in government should only be given to older and experienced candidates. They say that experience assist them to take better decision making skills. For instance, in the case of military, general would be more effective than lieutenant who had recently graduated. Additionally, they believe that young people, due to the lack of knowledge about the field which makes catastrophic effects in growth of nation. For these reasons, the advocates of these groups believed that younger people are not adequate for these posts in government. On the other hand, some naysayers believe that young people can able to act effectively in higher posts of government due to the fact of their thriving skills. Younger generation brings creativity and their enthusiastic acts makes big difference in growth of country than the older action. for example, young government health workers successfully raised the awareness of vaccine programs. Furthermore, due to the modern era, they can able to achieve new modern technologies into the government acts. It will enable them to do everything within the no time situation. Therefore, young people could able to do effectively in government related activities. However, having analysed the both perspectives, I personally inclined to the latter group because of their creative Work and new innovation such as computer knowledge can do lot of things when they approach in positions of government. To conclude, although there are some strong arguments for and against both views, it seems to me for the whole benefit, young people should be selected to play key roles in the government.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that offering higher positions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
of nations are not appropriate for youngsters.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
, others opine that it would be well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to handle by them. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views and in my opinion, it will be suitable for younger generation to deal the higher posts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their thriving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as innovation in their work.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
y


On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that influential positions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to older and experienced candidates. They say that experience assist them to take better
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, in the case of military, general would be more effective than lieutenant who had recently graduated.
Additionally
, they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, due to the lack of knowledge about the field which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
catastrophic effects in growth of nation. For these reasons, the advocates of these groups believed that younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not adequate for these posts in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
naysayers believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
act
effectively
in higher posts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
due to the fact of their thriving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Younger generation brings creativity and their enthusiastic acts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference in growth of country than the older action.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
health workers
successfully
raised the awareness of vaccine programs.
Furthermore
, due to the modern era, they
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
achieve new modern technologies into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
acts. It will enable them to do everything within the no time situation.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "could be able"?
could able
to do
effectively
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
related activities.

However
, having
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
the both perspectives, I
personally
inclined to the latter group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their creative Work and new innovation such as computer knowledge can do
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
things when they approach in positions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

To conclude
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strong arguments for and against both views, it seems to me for the whole benefit,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be selected
to play key roles in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that younger people are not suitable for important positions in governments of countries. Others, however, say that it is a good idea for the younger to take on these positions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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