Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The importance of money in our lives

The importance of money in our lives wKd9q
Since the thoroughgoing innovation from barter to paper money and coin, wealth has seemed like the measure of the social status of every people. When we were a kid, we have been educated that money is the basic necessity of our life. So let’s find out why money is so important. As you know, money is the unit we invented to exchange goods with each other. So you can imagine how distraught your daily life would be without money. Firstly, you can live life to the fullest. Time is universally the most precious commodity on the planet. With money no longer a time-consuming consideration. You could then begin devoting heavy time to all the other dimensions of your life. One may enjoy a remarkable expedition to every corner of the world. One may set aside more time for their relationship to broaden their social circle. One may sample all mouth-watering delicacies prepared by the locals. Therefore, our mutual purpose is about doing in which there is a delight for the sense and gratification for the soul. Secondly, being self-dependent is significantly the pivotal point to pursue and succeed on our path. Furthermore, it can be able to accurately reflect our maturity so it can do our parents the honor of being truly an adult that we don’t live off them anymore. We seemingly don’t bother worrying about financial problems and have money to cover the cost of anything we want as the escalation of living standards. Finally, when it comes to self-improvement, money is the right-hand helper especially in the era of rapid economic growth, you can hold a high standing in society. Whether wealth is probably the best insurance against greediness and jealousy or allows you to take the time to cultivate and accumulate a ton of knowledge, it is the paramount bedrock of eschewing from stagnation. On the other hand, we should not overlook its drawbacks. Money can build a society but also can tear them down. Most of us now are struggling with a phenomenon, which is called delusion. We erroneously let the value of money engross in their mind which turn us into a slave of money without perceiving it. In addition, its value eclipse another profound facet of other things we have already had such as our family, our life, etc. For instance, day by day, more adolescents are doing crimes, go beyond the permissible level of morality, or even standing up to the law regardless of the irretrievable risk of the sentence. It is conspicuous to see many young people because of one unconscious minute, they have to be incarcerated and regret in the rest of their life. Wealth is deemed by the majority of individuals as a glorious purpose to work hard from dawn to dusk. But the problem emerges when they were about to attain their goal. Unfortunately, they will be at a loss for what to do next and don’t go further in their path since then. In conclusion, wealth can be tremendous of assistance to you in achieving your goal but it’s not your goal. We need to perceive it as fuel. We need to fuel a car. Nevertheless, we must not use a car with the function is to fuel.
Since the thoroughgoing innovation from barter to paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and coin,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
has seemed like the measure of the social status of every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. When we were a kid, we have
been educated
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the basic necessity of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s find out why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

As you know,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the unit we invented to exchange
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
you can imagine how distraught your daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would be without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Firstly
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to the fullest.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
is
universally
the most precious commodity on the planet. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
no longer a time-consuming consideration. You could then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
devoting heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
dimensions of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. One may enjoy a remarkable expedition to every corner of the world. One may set aside more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their relationship to broaden their social circle.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
One
may sample all mouth-watering delicacies prepared by the locals.
Therefore
, our mutual purpose is about doing in which there is a delight for the sense and gratification for the soul.
Secondly
, being self-dependent is
significantly
the pivotal point to pursue and succeed on our path.
Furthermore
, it can be able to
accurately
reflect our maturity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can do our parents the honor of being
truly
an adult that we don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
off them anymore. We
seemingly
don’t bother worrying about financial problems and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to cover the cost of anything we want as the escalation of living standards.
Finally
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to self-improvement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the right-hand helper
especially
in the era of rapid economic growth, you can hold a high standing in society. Whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
is
probably
the best insurance against greediness and jealousy or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
you to take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to cultivate and accumulate a ton of knowledge, it is the paramount bedrock of eschewing from stagnation.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, we should not overlook its drawbacks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
can build a society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can tear them down. Most of us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are struggling with a phenomenon, which
is called
delusion. We
erroneously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
engross in their mind which turn us into a slave of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without perceiving it.
In addition
, its value eclipse another profound facet of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things we have already had such as our family, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, etc.
For instance
, day by day, more adolescents are doing crimes, go beyond the permissible level of morality, or even standing up to the law regardless of the irretrievable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of the sentence. It is conspicuous to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of one unconscious minute, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be incarcerated
and regret in the rest of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wealth
is deemed
by the majority of individuals as a glorious purpose to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
from dawn to dusk.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the problem emerges when they were about to attain their goal. Unfortunately, they will be at a loss for what to do
next
and don’t go
further
in their path since then.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
can be tremendous of assistance to you in achieving your goal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it’s not your goal. We need to perceive it as fuel. We need to fuel a car.
Nevertheless
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a car with the function is to fuel.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The importance of money in our lives

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
541 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    Many people feel that urban environments are more unhealthy than they have ever been.
    City areas are thought to be becoming more contaminated than in the previous age. This essay will elaborate on the most major cause of this issue which is people’s attitude towards the natural environment, and it will suggest some viable solutions. . The main reason why the urban atmosphere is day ...
  • 5band
    The production of olive oil
    The given process depicts the stages in the production of olive oil. It is clear from the picture that there are seven main stages from the picking to the final sale. To start with, olives are picked from the olive trees. After that, the fresh olives are washed in cold water and rinsed several time...
  • 6band
    Some Businesses Find That Their Employees Lack Basic Interpersonal Skills
    Nowadays, In most of the fields employees work as a team, and in many businesses freshers are lacking in basic interpersonal skills, resulting in their inability to work as a team player. This essay will discuss the reasons behind it and then present some suggestions to alleviate these potential pro...
  • 5band
    Education is a lifelong task. Give reasons to substantiate your opinion.
    Education is an essential part of everyone's life, and it is an very important role in the growth of an individual's life. Some may argue that tutoring is a lifelong process. I tend to agree with this view and feel that schooling is necessary for a person's entire life. This essay present arguments ...
  • 5.5band
    book review UNDER THE HAWTHORN TREE
    The book 'UNDER THE HAWTHORN TREE' is a children's historical novel by Marita Conlon-Mckenna. This book was a very interesting book to read. This book is a true story that tells of the adventures of Eily, Michael and Peggy during the famine in Ireland that is vividly retold. Under The Hawthorn Tree ...
  • 5.5band
    About whatsapp. why WhatsApp are more useful today? Tell something about whatsapp features too?
    WhatsApp is a app which is commonly used by all people. this app will be used in all countries everywhere it is used. It is a way to send anything from one person to many person. Earlier, people have no phone to talk with others. but nowadays, everyone has their own phone and we talked with each ot...